Crazy Infertile

Happy Second Birthday my love!

2011-08-26T16:01:00.000-05:00

Two

One

Brand New

In a nut shell...

2011-08-09T13:16:00.002-05:00

Life is kicking my ass. It has been so hard for me to focus long enough sit down to blog.

Bullet points are my friend right now.

Well, first let me say this. I am watching this stupid show call Big Rich Texas. A size four woman wants to go back into modeling. She met with an agent who told her that she is too big to be a model but that she can be a plus sized model. Are you freaking kidding me? Size 4? You can see her bones and she is a plus sized model? Who decides that someone who weighs oh, 125 pounds is obese? I feel so sorry for all of the young girls out there that are trying to live up to this unrealistic expectations. It is just disgusting. I can say this...even if you are fat you can have a great life. You can be beautiful. You can and will get married to a handsome man. Handsome men actually like women with meat of their bones. You can have children and a wonderful family life. You can be successful! You can eat a chocolate chip cookie with your kids and still be fabulous and wonderful and loving. Arrgh!!! I'm fired up. Can you tell? Sorry...

In May, BB and I went on a 5 day cruise with my mother and some friends. We were gone for a total of 2 weeks. It was not relaxing at all! It was fun but taking a toddler on a cruise is just not for the faint of heart. I was terrified that a gust of wind would come and sweep her overboard. We stayed away from the railing if at all possible.
We were home for about 2 weeks before heading to Kentucky to see the in laws. During that time we put our house on the market and had to get it ready for photos, staging, etc.
While in Kentucky, H got an amazing job offer in Dallas. Long story short, it was a 6 month contract position that was supposed to become permanent and he accepted the offer. We found a rental house and decided to all move together and leave our house in Austin for sell.
The kids and I got back from our trip to Kentucky and immediately started packing up the house to move the next week. Oh, and H moved the week before we did.
After being in the new place and getting settled in (as much as possible without our furniture) H found out that the contract was ending early. The company decided not to do the project and H no longer has a job as of August 12. Fortunately he has found another full time job and will start on August 22.
We received an offer on our house and decided that we would accept. The market is crap, blah blah blah and it's just a sucky situation all around. Good news is that we are closing next week.
We LOVE the area where we are living now. I absolutely love it. The school system is amazing and we have no doubts about being here.
I am pursuing colleges here and trying to get into a nursing program in the near future. Is this ever going to happen?

The kids are doing great. August 7 marked 2 years that AB has been with us. What an amazing blessing he is. BB is about to have her 2nd birthday. SOB! She's not a baby anymore. She is a late talker and I was really worried. We had her evaluated and she was ahead of her milestones and did not qualify for services. Whew! She has picked up so many words in the past month and I am so ready for her to start really talking. She jabbers all the time in her own alien language. It is so cute.

The heat has been out of control...108 degrees today. And it's been like this for weeks. We aren't doing too much other than going to the pool from time to time.

I guess that's it for now. My brain just hit the brakes and my thought process came to a screeching halt!

My loves...

Overwhelmed...

2011-06-02T23:25:00.000-05:00

With love for this girl....

Never Trust A Quiet Toddler

2011-05-14T14:51:00.000-05:00

Yes, that would be yogurt.

And yes, that would be my iPhone

It still works. The speakers are a bit wonky but I think it's because the phone took a swim in a bowl of brownie batter. Yogurt is nothing compared to that!

This girl loves her daddy. She's getting pretty attached to him and prefers him to me when he is home. I'm totally fine with that!

We took the kids to a splash pad/playground today. It was really neat! Although BB had nothing to do with it! And four boys? Four...enough said.

"I think I'll just stand here and look cute"

This is BB's boyfriend. He had a blast. He got a little bit wet.

BB wanted to be all 'Hollywood' with my glasses!!

So, I found this great website a while back where you can print free artwork (I printed on cardstock).

Here is the link: http://indiefixx.com/Feed_your_soul/downloads.html

I have been looking for something to put over my bed but I didn't want to spend the money. I already have these frames so I repurposed them and voila!

Oh, an my wonderful mother's day gift from The Vin tage Pearl....Love it!!

Traveling with a little one

2011-05-11T13:19:00.000-05:00

BB is about to take her 15th flight in 20 months (and we are going on a cruise next week). At the prompting of my blog friend Marcia, , I thought I would share what has (and often has not) worked for us.

Our first flight was when BB was 3 months old. It was just the two of us and I stressed out so much that I did not sleep at all the night before. The stress was definitely wasted. It is MUCH easier to fly with a little baby. Once they get mobile?! Forget about it!

Things I've learned:

1. You do not need nearly as much stuff as you think you will. Keep it to a minimum. The less you have to carry on the plane, the better. (blanket, drinks, pacifier, snacks, diapers, wipes, tissue, change of clothes)

2. Toys on a plane are a waste of time. Well, unless you enjoy crawling under the seats to pick them up every five minutes. The scenery alone will keep younger children occupied better than any toy.

3. Offer a pacifier/bottle/sippy cup going up and coming down. Have it ready in case they are sleeping. The only time BB has ever cried is when she was sleeping as we started to land. Part of me wants to wake her before then. But I haven't done that yet. Oh, and put a strap on the pacifiers and cups and attach to you/baby/seatbelt. See #2.

2. I have never used a stroller in the airport. I have had her in my Beco carrier every time. It can be a challenge to go to the restroom with a baby attached to your chest. But it CAN be done. When we first started flying, I could leave her in the carrier when we went through security. Now they make me take her out. Presents a bigger challenge, especially when they can't stand up. Of course, when they can stand they will run off! You will wish for 12 arms but I promise you will make do with the two you have. I will put her on my back next time.

3. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP OR ACCEPT HELP FROM THOSE AROUND YOU. I have been amazed at how helpful total strangers have been. Especially men. Take help if offered. Ask for it if you need it.

4. Get thee an iPad. The end.

5. Seriously, the iPhone/iPad has saved my sanity on our flights. She is so entertained by it and it keeps her still for more than 5 seconds at a time.

6. Just understand that you will feel like you are wrangling an alligator when you fly with a toddler. It is exhausting. There is a reason they make you buy a seat for children over 2 years old. Just expect it and try to roll with it.

7. If possible, have an 11 year old boy travel with you. They are great at running after and entertaining toddlers. Seriously, AB has been such an amazing help!

8. Get help with your luggage. We have no less than 2 suitcases and a car seat every time we fly. If there is no one around to help you, find them. Seriously. A $5-$10 tip is worth every penny!!

9. Take snacks but don't go crazy. You are allowed to take bottles of water onto the plane. You can also take milk, juice. They will allow a cooler bag with an ice pack for these items. I have had a few people question me but for the most part, it's been fine. They allow more liquid when your child is a little baby. Be prepared to open every container with liquid in it for inspection.

10. Probably the most important piece of advice: Arrive early and allow your self plenty of time.

11. Well, another important piece of advice in my opinion? Plan your flights around your baby's schedule. I will not take an early morning flight. 6-7 am? No way. Done that and it sucked and I won't do it again. I will pay the extra $20+ for a later flight. Flying with a cranky, tired toddler is absolutely not fun. They are cranky enough without adding sleepiness to the equation.

I hope that helps! Please feel free to ask any questions.

She might have a problem...

2011-05-09T21:38:00.000-05:00

It might take some serious intervention to get over this addiction. I do not look forward to that day.

But she's still pretty stinkin' adorable!

Life in photos...sort of..

2011-03-11T00:13:00.000-06:00

Boulder, CO

AB LOVED the snow

BB tolerated the snow

Washable marker, thankfully

Lots of love between these two

Lots of playing outside in the gorgeous weather!

Hanging out with this cute boy! His gotcha day was February 22. He's been with us for 19 months already! My how times flies! We celebrated by going to dinner and a movie.

BB is 18 months old, 22 pounds, 32 inches, talking when she feels like it which isn't too often..sigh....
But guess what she is doing? Sleeping through the night! The last 3 weeks have been amazing. Finally, after 17 months, she started sleeping!! She is so much fun. I can't believe that she is 18 months old!!

She also started gymnastics. Her class is called the Waddlers class. So incredibly cute! She screeched most of her first class, but did great today at her second class.

We went to the Kite festival last weekend. We are losers at flying kites...we couldn't get it off the ground!

This was her 3rd time down the same slide. She looks terrified but was laughing when she got to the bottom!
Hysterical!

Their first date! And he's driving! We also celebrated this cutie's 3rd birthday last weekend. Again, where does the time go?

School starts back for me tomorrow. It's gonna be crazy around here, that's for sure!

I am joining my husband in San Francisco week after next. He is going for work and I am going to sightsee alone. Sounds glorious! My mom is coming to visit and I will leave BB for the first time. Just for 2 nights but I'm already anxious about how I will handle it. I'm sure BB won't even miss me!

What would you do?

2011-01-16T21:42:00.004-06:00

I was in the check out line today, buying hairspray (as if you care what I was buying). If you recall, I've never been one to back away from confrontation. This guy walks by and hisses under his breath, "your shoes are horrible". Now, this "guy" was no prize by any stretch of the imagination. His boyfriend was probably pretty ugly too. He had long scraggly burgundy hair and was just awful looking. So, as he walks by and hisses at me, I turn to him and was all - Excuse me? Were you talking to me? Cuz I don't recall asking for your opinion! And by the way, have you SEEN your hair?

Who does that? Do you have to say everything that comes to mind? Even if you think it, why say it? (Of course, I guess I should take my own advice, huh? I didn't have to insult his hair)

You may or may not recall that my sister and I DO NOT GET ALONG. I told her what happened and she immediately went into this rant about how I'm always so tightly wound and that I am so rude and that I should have just killed him with kindness. I will say that I have never met one person that tries to kill someone with kindness. They try to kill them with condescension. Anyway, it ended up in a huge fight and her telling me everything that is wrong with me. There is MUCH more to this story but I won't bore you with details.

What would you have done? Let it go? Allow someone to just walk all over you and just take their abuse? Or would you stand up for yourself and not allow it at all?

I know that I am a sucky blogger...blah, blah, blah. : ) Hopefully I will find my voice again soon. I've really been going through a dry spell lately. I'm still reading though. Oh, and if you want a blog to inspire your socks off? Check out http://www.kellehampton.com/ Why can't I be more like her?

We are going to Boulder, CO this week. I'm pumped because I've always wanted to go and now I get to. Woo hoo! We spent New Year's with my family in Alabama and it was actually enjoyable. Suprised me too.

The kids are awesome and growing and changing so much every day. BB is almost 17 months old. Where does the time go. She is into everything and learning and doing so much every day. She calls her brother "Ah-boo". She goes in for a kiss from the dogs with her mouth wide open (GROSS) and she is definitely letting her opinions be known. She is not a big talker but has a handful of words that she speaks. She is doing well with sign language too. She loves playing outside and with her brother. They love each other so much!

One of my Christmas gifts was PhotoShop. I am clueless. I wish I had more time to play with it. I know just enough to make a photo look horrible. Well, I can make a few look ok.

Christmas Card Photos - Epic Fail

2010-12-02T22:18:00.004-06:00

Well, maybe not and EPIC fail...but pretty close. I did manage to get a couple of decent shots!

It's been a while

2010-11-13T20:28:00.000-06:00

I'm still alive and kicking. Is anyone still reading? I seriously don't know how you folks (especially those of you with more than one baby) have the time to blog. BB has started screeching to get in my lap every time I sit down at the computer. She wants to pound the keyboard and a toy keyboard just won't do!

My surgery went well. It wasn't as invasive as we thought and basically the doctor just had to move a tendon in my wrist. Thankfully I didn't have to wear a cast for 4 weeks. Just a bandage for about a week. The surgery was pretty much a breeze. The recovery, minus the stomach bug I caught the day after surgery, was easy. I thought I was going to die. I was miserable for 4-5 days and none of it was surgery related. I'm just glad that it's over.

The kids are great. Halloween was fun. BB was a witch and AB was a ninja. BB was sooo cute walking around that night. And yes...she is walking. She started on October 12. She crawled and walked for a few days, but then she just stopped crawling. Now she's running! I was beginning to wonder if she would ever walk! =) Now if we can get her talking. She can follow directions and knows lots of things. She says a handful of words and she knows several signs. She is absolutely a doll and still the best, most laid back baby I know. It is so fun to watch her walk and explore. She can actually walk to the car now! I don't want to rush the baby stage, but it's so much easier now that she's walking. AB is doing great! We love his new school. The 4th and 5th grade classes had an overnight field trip and went to an outdoor school. They had a blast! Ropes courses and repelling and all kinds of team building exercises. He absolutely loved it!

I'm in school again and am staying pretty busy with classes on top of everything else.

The transmission in one of our cars died. Long story short, we have to get a new car. Of course, it was almost paid for. We bought it used and it's been a great car! But it will cost thousands of dollars to fix it. We actually sold the car today and are trying to find another one. It should be fun trying to share one car.

My mother and I went to see the movie "F.or Color.ed Girls". It was amazing. I love Tyler Perry and all of his movies. This was by far the most intense, soul crushing movie that I've ever seen. I think that everyone needs to see this movie. I don't want to ruin it for anyone so I won't say more!!

BB went to sleep about 30 minutes ago so I'm trying to get lots done before I go to bed. She is still not sleeping through the night. She is up every 3 - 4 hours. The most she has ever slept is 6 hours...and she's only done that twice. She is only taking one nap a day too. She's ready for a nap about 3 hours after she wakes up but I'm trying to push her out and have her (hopefully) take one long afternoon nap. Then (hopefully) she will go to bed earlier. We'll see. She is still not eating well. Zzzzzzzz....

Talk to you soon!

What a difference a year makes!

2010-10-20T00:24:00.000-05:00

And here's some just for fun...

Surgery scheduled for Friday. Classes started yesterday...all online...lots of typing. Frantically trying to get everything done before hand. I really miss blogging. I hope to get back to it on a regular basis soon. Le Sigh....

MIA

2010-10-08T12:21:00.000-05:00

Hey all...I can't believe that I haven't posted in so long. Since having my iphone, I rarely get to the computer. Not that I have much time to use it anyway. We are in Kentucky now visiting the in laws. AB had a 2 week fall break so we came to visit. It's been nice.

We also went to Miami ( I think I told you that) for my sister in laws wedding.

I have to have surgery on my right wrist. I have a cyst on the tendon and it's about to rupture. Of course, I am right handed. And I am about to start an online class. Not sure how that's going to work out. My mom is coming to spend at least 4 weeks with us. Fortunately for me (unfortunately for her) she isn't working right now. I basically can't put any pressure on my hand after surgery and I will be in a cast up to my elbow for 4 weeks. Did I mention that I can't get it wet? Fun times, huh?

I'm using my father in laws lap top while BB is eating. And she just finished and is shrieking to get out of her high chair. She's doing great by the way. There went to sippy cup...food is sure to follow. Yep, there is goes. All over the floor. Here doggy doggy!! It's great! Like a vacuum cleaner with four legs and a mouth! hahaha!!

I will update properly soon. I promise. I may not comment (hard to type on a cell phone) but I am reading your updates.

I'm glad everyone is doing well.

Conversation with the husband

2010-09-27T21:33:00.000-05:00

Setting: Dining table eating dinner, the husband (H) is working on a flashlight of AB's to make it work.

H: I think if I can just loosen this one screw that it will work.

Me: Uhhh...ok.

H: Do you have a small screwdriver? Like one for eyeglasses?

Me: Reach down like I'm pulling it out of my a**. {cue crickets chirping}

30 seconds later...

H: I need a small screwdriver.

Me: There is a kit in the black tool box in the laundry room.

H: That sound great!

Me: {Crickets chirping again} Uhh...ok.

H: Staring at me while listening to crickets chirping

Me: So go get them.

H: Rolls eyes, acts like I chopped off his leg.

Me: Ok, so I'll go get the screwdrivers and you can clean the kitchen.

H: That's ok. I'll get the screwdriver.

Dooohhhhh!!! Men!!!

Wiped Out...

2010-09-15T23:03:00.000-05:00

Alive and barely kicking. We were in Miami for my sister in law's wedding this past weekend. We stayed at the Ri.tz Carlton...amazing! It was hot and humid and busy. I will try to update soon.

My mother was here for 3 weeks and just left today...booo!!! I love when she is here.

BB is sleeping worse that ever lately. I think the trip really threw her off. She was up 3 times last night between 9 pm and 6 am. One night in Miami she was up crying at least 10 times. You moms out there who have babies that sleep through the night the moment they pop out of your vajay jay...consider yourselves extremely lucky. You are in an elite club. I'm in the permanent black circles under your eyes club. Almost 13 months of no more than 4 hours of sleep at a time makes you a little crazy.

On that note...going to bed. Will update asap.

My Girl's Birthday

2010-09-01T23:02:00.001-05:00

This year has been the fastest of my life. I am so thankful that I get to be a mama to this precious little being. She is just such an amazing little person and I love spending my days with her. She is so much fun to be around and I absolutely love and adore her more that I thought possible.

What a difference a year makes!

She is "this close" to walking. She can stand alone for a while...until she realizes she isn't holding on to anything. Then she plops down on her cute little rear! She loves to play "Pat a Cake and doing the motions to "Itsy Bitsy Spider". If we say "Aye, aye, aye!!" she puts both hands on her head. She loves her brother with a passion and his name was the third word she said (after mama and dada). No one can make her laugh like he can. When she gets mad she says "mamamamamamama" over and over. I'm all like, "hey! It's not my fault you are mad!" She has 8 teeth and is not afraid to use them! I sing her a little song and point while I'm doing it. "It's your chin and your lips and your nose...." and every time I point to her lips she tries to bite my finger! Cute but painful if she actually makes contact! She loves nudey time after her bath and she will flip and flop on my bed. It's the cutest thing! She loves to get into the cabinets and throw things on the floor.She also loves to "help" me with the dishwasher.

Which usually ends up being lots more work for me in the end! (wow, is my carpet nasty!)

I could go on and on but I will spare you. ( Since I don't have a baby book for her I have to write this all somewhere! Mother of the century..I know)

We met the daddy for lunch on her actual birthday. I think she knew something special was going on.

I definitely knew something special was going on!!

She had her one year check up on Friday and had to have 4 shots! She was not happy and she just sobbed and sobbed. I felt so sorry for her. She weighs a whopping 19 pounds (20%) and is 30 1/2 inches long (90%). When the doctor walked in she said "Hi" to BB. BB waved at her and said "Hi" right back. Too cute!

Ok, on to the party. It was so much fun. Lots of work but fun. I think it turned out really well! My friends are awesome and I couldn't have put it together without them. Lets put it this way. The party started at 2. Kellye and Keri showed up at 1:15 and I was still in my pajamas. They saved me yet again!!

Kellye made this adorable little tutu for her! Along with a dvd of her first year in photos. Totally made me cry.

(This photo is blurry but it's too cute not to use!)

She looks like a little peacock!

It was a lot of work, but it looked really cute!

The hot dogs were "for the kids" but the grown ups loved them too!

Bells is her nickname

She wasn't too terribly excited about her cake. She was very sleepy.

But she managed a few smiles...

And then she hit a wall and was all "NO MORE CAKE!!"

So, after a bath and a change of clothes, we opened gifts.

I have the nicest, bestest friends in the world! They made this such a memorable occasion and I am so grateful for their generosity and love for my children.

Checking In

2010-08-25T22:26:00.000-05:00

My baby will be 1 tomorrow...wow. How is that possible? I will give you a proper update soon!

I leave you with BB's newest smile!

And yes, I still bathe her in the sink!

Ha!!

2010-08-12T21:10:00.000-05:00

EB

2010-08-11T22:51:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure if you noticed the buttons for Jonah and Tripp on the right side of my blog. These children were born with a rare genetic disease called epidermolysis bullosa. They are basically missing the glue that holds their skin on. This results in horrible blisters (inside and out) and a myriad of health problems. Their is no cure and their lives are cut short by this horrible, cruel disease.

The University of Minnesota is using stem cell therapy on some of these patients and are seeing good results. The unfortunate part is that the children get extremely close to death's door during the process.

Why am I telling you this? Well, my heart has been aching for these children. I have literally sobbed for the last 3 nights while checking for updates. I so desperately want to help them but what can I do? I believe that this is so close to my heart for a reason. If I ever become a nurse (no, I didn't get into nursing school this time around, sigh) maybe I could work with these patients. I don't know. I just feel like I need to do something.

The one thing that I CAN do is to donate to DEBRA (Dystrophic Epidermolysis Bullosa Research Association of America) . This organization is a necessity to families dealing with this horrible disease.

Please pray for these children and families. And consider making a donation to DEBRA or the families. It is just so heartbreaking and completely unfair. No one should have to deal with something so horrible...

There are not enough words....

My heart is breaking...

And so it begins...

2010-07-28T22:18:00.000-05:00

AB has a girlfriend. It's the 2nd day of 5th grade and she asked him to 1) be her boyfriend 2) asked for his phone number 3) called my cell phone 14 times (the ringer was off thankfully) 3) called the home number 3 times 4) sent 3 text messages to my phone 5)finally talked to AB and asked him to go to the movies this weekend...or fishing.. HAVE MERCY!!!

She is a really sweet girl and very cute. But they are 10 years old! I told them that I would talk to her mom and we would see about them going to the movies. She then told AB to tell me to make sure that if I took them to the movies to sit several rows back...not anywhere near them. Nice.

My little stud muffin showing off his 'muscles'

This is what happens when he watches TV...totally zones out.

This little cutie (who always seems to have food on her face)

loves to feed the dogs her food. She teased Patches forever but never actually gave her a bite!

She came close a few times

But kept a pretty firm grasp on that graham cracker!

And then she played pat a cake...

rolled them up...

and threw them in th pan...

Then proceeded to eat a graham cracker covered in dog slobber. A few germs never hurt anyone...right?

Guess who slept?

2010-07-26T19:56:00.000-05:00

No, it wasn't me. I tossed an turned all night. But BB finally slept through the night for the first time. 8:30 pm to 5:45 am. Wow. I hope this is a sign of things to come! It only took 11 months!

So, did you guess that BB's party is going to be hot pink and zebra? I love it! The banner is finished and I am working on final touches.

What do you think about her birthday outfit? I am going to put a zebra print number 1 on the front of her shirt! Too cute!

By the way.,...trying to photograph and 11 month old baby is like trying to wrangle an alligator. Not easy.

Sneak Peak...

2010-07-24T00:51:00.000-05:00

Can you guess....

What the theme is for BB's upcoming birthday party?

And who's going crazy trying to get it all done? Yeah, that would be me.

But, it's all for this lil sweetheart (with food all over her face!). I'd do it a trillion times over!!

I'll be doing it all again in October for this one too!!

And one more just because this photo cracks me up. BB is all, dude, leave me alone!!

Stuff

2010-07-21T22:42:00.001-05:00

I can't believe it's been so long since I've blogged! We visited with family and family came here. I can't even remember the last time I got on the computer.

So, what's been going on...hmmm... BB is almost 11 months old and we are planning her first birthday party. Wow. I can not even believe how quickly time passes. She is so much fun! It is just a matter of time before she starts walking. She is pulling up on everything and cruising along furniture, etc.
She has 7 teeth (4 on bottom, 3 on top)! She is saying AB's name...no question about it! The first time she said it I was showing her a picture of him. She just blurted out his name! Too cute! She has her first cold and has been so pitiful. Her eyes are watering and she is so congested. She has been extremely clingy too. (I secretly love it!) She was up every hour last night. Help me! She is still not sleeping through the night. I am sooo looking forward to the day when that happens. There is so much more that I wanted to tell you but I can't remember right now. It takes me forever to fall asleep at night and I have all of these things running through my head. But now? Blank slate.

I remember after BB was born (well, and during my pregnancy), I said that there was no way I would have another baby. It was just too scary. But every month that my period shows up I am disappointed. I look at my family and think to myself, "You should be satisfied! How dare you want more than what you already have!". When I was in the depths of despair dealing with infertility I would get so angry at women who had a baby and wanted more. How dare them! Isn't one enough? But you know? Just because we are infertile doesn't mean that we aren't human. Most people in the world (infertile or not) want more than one child. We don't look down our noses at fertile people when they have a desire to have more. But we look down our noses at infertiles that want the same thing. I don't know. I'm conflicted. Part of me wants another one and part of me wants to keep things as they are. AB said he would love to have another baby join the family. But it would take even more attention from him. It's unlikely that it will happen but a girl can dream, right?

So, on to AB. He is doing well. Boys are different! The phrase 'boys will be boys' is so true! I am still learning and succeeding and failing all at the same time! I just want to give him the best of everything. It is hard to know what the right thing to do is sometimes. I guess that all parents feel that way at some point. He is growing so much! Getting tall and even more handsome. He has been here almost a year! How did that happen??! What a great kid he is. So loving and sweet. I wish you could meet him!

On a totally random note, I got pulled over by a state trooper last week. I wasn't speeding so I was really confused as to why he pulled me over. He told me that I was exceeding the speed limit. I asked him what my speed was and he just said, 'you were over the limit'. He couldn't/wouldn't tell me what my speed was. And the funny thing? He was in front of me and slowed down to get behind me. He said he clocked me speeding even though he was in front of me. I told him that I even had my mother check my speed and we both saw that I wasn't speeding. His response? "Well, since you seem to think that you weren't speeding, I'll give you a tip. Car manufacturers only make the speedometer accurate on precision cars, like a corvette. At any give time your speedometer can be 5 miles per hour over or under the speed showing. What you need to do is use your phone...it has a stopwatch, right? And time yourself from one mile marker to the next and divide and blah blah blah to see if your speed is accurate." Really? My response? "So, you are telling me to use my cell phone while driving on the interstate. I'll get a ticket for that!". He wasn't amused. He was a big jerk. What I wanted to say was, " so, you are going to ticket me because the company that made my car is at fault? I have to pay for their mistakes? Why don't you give people a 5 mph window just in case they really aren't speeding?! I was soooooo mad!!!!! He only gave me a warning but it was all I could do to bite my tongue. (as a side note, I got an i phone and have been using it for emails, texting, etc. I am having the hardest time typing on this computer keyboard! I keep waiting for it to auto correct my mistakes so I'm sure this post will have tons of misspelled words! Weird!)

Are you guys into the whole Twilight saga? I saw Eclipse with my niece before seeing the other movies. I had the hardest time getting into it. There is a scene where Edward is in the sun and he was twinkly, not melting. I asked my niece, "Why doesn't he melt in the sun?" She said they don't melt, they sparkle. Oh, ok! I found this extremely amusing! I ended up seeing Twilight a few days ago and it put things into perspective a little better. First of all, I have a hard time sitting still long enough to watch any movie. Secondly, I have a hard time watching movies that are so unrealistic. My synopsis of this movie:

You have this plain Jane girl that is an outcast move in with her dad. A sexy vampire falls madly in love with her and the romance!!! Oh, the romance!! She is so in love that she wants to become a vampire so she can be with him forever. But wait...there is a wolf...almost prepubescent in Twilight....who is (pretty much jail bait in Eclipse) oh so very sexy...with his 6 pack and big muscles. And he too is madly in love with her! The Wolf and vampire fight for her affection and to save her from the evil vampires (oxymoron anyone?). She ultimately must choose who she wants to be with and if she wants to be warm or cold for the rest of eternity.

Is there any wonder that girls have an unrealistic view of what love and romance really is?

I will leave you with this. When I was in Alabama, we took 5 kids (mine and my sister's) to Port rait Inno vations to have their photos taken. We had a 2:30 appointment and when we got there and it was utter chaos. The place was packed! So, we waited and waited and waited. Finally, at 4 pm they were ready for us. We had to leave by 4:45 and and 4:30 we still had not seen our photos. Long story short...it was a horrible experience and I will never go back. It took 2 more trips back there to get the photos and they were so rude to us. We did get some pretty cute photos so I'll share one with you.

Look at those eyebrows! Ha!! Too cute!

Bath time!

Clapping with daddy!

Brain is shutting down...

Oh, my wrist is better. Only took 3 days. Thankfully!

Hello

2010-07-03T12:11:00.000-05:00

Tendonitis (also called tenosynovitis, who knew??) in right wrist = YEOWWWWWWWWWOUCH!!

Hard to type.

Will update once I can type without pain.

How in the world are ya?

New Tricks

2010-06-18T22:57:00.002-05:00

Nice...

She started standing in her crib last week (I had to lower the mattress). Needless to say, she was not too happy with me for taking her photo and NOT taking her out of her crib.

And AB's new tricks...on the new Wii. BTW, we got the Wii Fit too. It might kill me...

Not so sure what I think about the wild look in his eye! It was only boxing after all!

Can you tell that he won?

Summer

2010-06-09T23:02:00.002-05:00

I can't believe it's already summer again. Sometimes living in Austin is like living on the surface of the sun. Every summer I moan and complain, "Why do we live here?! It's sooo hot!!". Then in the winter I'm all, "Oh, I love living in Austin! I couldn't deal with all of the snow!". Geez.

I managed to pass my entrance exam for the nursing program and officially applied on Monday. Who knows if I will get in this time around. If not, I'll just reapply for next year. Trying not to get too worked up over it.

BB is growing so fast and we are already talking about her first birthday party..sob!! I can't believe how quickly time passes. I get tears in my eyes when I think about it. She will be grown before I know it. She is fully crawling and pulling up on everything. There is no sitting still for me when she's on the move! Sleeping is still sucky. But eating is better. She loves yogurt and I can pretty much hide anything in it. She had her 9 month doctors appointment a few weeks ago. She weighed 17 pounds and was 28 inches long. Her weight is in the 20th percentile and her height and head were the 70th. Ha! Big head...long and skinny.

AB is doing good. Just giving me the typical summer phrase "I'm Bored" all day long. Oh well. Too bad. He is such a home body and doesn't really like going anywhere. But he doesn't want to stay home. Ugh. What to do?! We were going to let him do a few weeks of day camp but now we have decided to visiti with my family. God help me now. It's very stressful to be with them. Hopefully it will be fun, especially for him.

My birthday is coming up and I can NOT even believe that I will be 37 years old! I'm almost 40! When did that happen?

I had all of these grand ideas for a post but now I can't remember to save my life. I'll just have to update later, if I think about it.

And of course, I can't write a post without adding photos..

Look who is in big girl pajamas!!

How am I supposed to wash THIS laundry?!

My girl and me

My babes and me

My sister in law took this photo and I just LOVE it!

Dog days....

Water gun fight with his aunt!

A Poem...by AB

2010-05-26T22:51:00.000-05:00

AB wrote this in school. This kid is amazing.

Blue and Red

Blue and red are like

brothers and sisters

They do everything together

They love each other like

cats cuddling in a bunch

They are like the earth and moon

being close together when sad

They would never

abandon each other in

a bad mood over time

Blue and Red

are like

brothers and sisters

Finally!!

2010-05-25T23:35:00.001-05:00

Oh, where to start... I never used to understand how people could be "so busy". You know, they never have time for friends or doing anything fun? Impossible! There is ALWAYS enough time! Ha!! Ha!! Ha!!

AB is doing great in his new school. He had a field day last week and had a blast!

His last day is tomorrow and I have no idea what to do with a 10 year old all summer long. We will try to visit my family for a week or so. And maybe the in-laws. Of course, we don't have an endless supply of money so we will see if it starts growing on trees. Oh, and he passed 4th grade! Fifth grade, here we come! AB has been playing basketball but some of the kids are really rough and like to throw him to the ground. Now he doesn't want to play anymore. Of course, I've never seen this happen. It happened the one night our neighbor took all the boys to practice. She didn't see anything and we've never noticed them being mean. We'll see...still not sure if he should quit or not. I always thought that once you signed up for something that you finished it. What do you think? Of course, if he's getting beat up I would definitely talk to the coach and take care of the situation.

I survived my physiology class. Just barely. It was a rough semester and I am so glad that it's over. I took the admissions test for the nursing program. It has 3 parts and I passed 2 of them. Dang! I missed the anatomy and physiology section by 1 question. So, now I have to retake it. I can only take it twice in a year so if I don't pass this time I'm screwed. No pressure...huh? Retaking it on June 4th. I have lots of studying to do between now and then. Wish me luck!

My husband's (H) grandmother passed away weekend before last (Saturday, May 15) . She was in Kentucky with his parents so he took a last minute trip to go visit her. She was very sick and we knew her life was coming to an end. She actually passed away while he was on the plane to see her. Very sad. He wanted to say goodbye but didn't get the chance. The funeral was on Monday in New Jersey. I flew into NYC/JFK with the kids, rented a car, and drove into NJ to meet the family. It was kinda crazy but we made it! We spent 2 nights there and really enjoyed seeing family. Hated the circumstances of course. For many, it was the first time they have seen AB and BB. It was really nice seeing how everyone embraced them....especially AB. Fortunately my mother flew in on May 13 to help while H was out of town. We left her here by herself while we went to the funeral. She took care of the house/dogs. She spent a week and a half with us and it was so nice to have her here. H's parents and sister are coming this weekend. It will be nice to see them again too.

BB is doing great. She will be 9 months old tomorrow! Holy cow!

She spent 2 days with a low grade fever and just not feeling well. Wanna see how she looks when she isn't feeling well?

After her fever broke she broke out in a rash (Roseola, I presume) and after 2 days was completely back to normal. We took her to the doctor and she thinks it's just teething. She is still not eating solids. Baby food is an absolute NO GO. She loves her puffs though. Can a human survive on Gerber puffs alone? We give her everything we eat now. She will take a few bites and then the lips clamp down and she starts shaking her head no. Aye aye aye!! We are going to see the Occupational Therapist in a few weeks to work on it. Can you believe we have to wait 6 weeks for an appointment? And there is only 1 pediatric OT in the area in our insurance network. Don't even get me started. Anyway...she is crawling all over the place! She can go from her belly to a sitting position too. She has started to pull up but not on a regular basis. I'm not rushing all of this movement!! She talks and sings all of the time. Such a joy! The not so joyous part? Still not sleeping more than 5 hours at a time. She spits her pacifier out and cries for it at least 5 times a night. I try to let her soothe herself back to sleep but that's a huge fail. She is not a fan of sleeping at all! And when she wakes herself up, she is wide awake ready to play. When we lay her back in her arms she arches her back because she knows it's nap time and she wants no part of it. I have to hold her down, squirming and squealing, to get her to take a nap. She was actually up every 2 hours last night. Wow...just wow. The doctor said that once we get more food in her that she should sleep longer...I think I already told you that. Needless to say, I am just beyond exhausted.

I had all of these grand ideas for a blog post...so much I wanted to tell you. But now I can't remember any of them. I should keep a notebook by my bed...the ideas come to me in the middle of the night!

And now...I give you random cuteness!

Eating puffs...you're doing it wrong!!

The cowardly Rottweiler finally let me take her photo! She is scared of the little pocket cameras but not my gigantic Nikon...go figure.

Clean baby!!

You talkin to me?!

Bendy Baby

2010-05-07T15:27:00.001-05:00

This is how I found BB in her carseat today....shouldn't that hurt?

Hi

2010-05-04T10:27:00.002-05:00

Holy heck has life been insane! I promise to update fully next week. My physiology professor is a sadist and he is making life miserable right now. We have an exam next Monday and a COMPREHENSIVE final two days later on Wednesday. Really? Seriously? How in the H E double hockey sticks is that supposed to work?! Bitch, moan, blah, blah, blah.

BB is doing great. Graduated from her DOC band, oh....7 years ago! (Seems like it's been that long since I posted). She looks great. Eating = Horrible (may have texture aversions, going to see an occupational therapist) Sleeping = Horrible Everything else = wonderful
Can I just say that I am SOOOO glad that she is a happy baby. A non sleeping, screaming baby would be hard. More on all of this later...

AB is also doing great. He got accepted into a charter school and we are really excited about it. He is too. Only thing? He has to finish out this year (3 1/2 more weeks) at the new school in order to have a place for next year. We go tomorrow for him to spend the day and really getting a feel for it. He will also be doing some day camps this summer....sports, swimming, just for fun.

My bloggy friend at Womb for One More gave me a blog award. Thank you! I promise I will respond soon!

I spent a week in Kentucky with BB to visit the in laws. I was wiped out when I got home.

More once I have time to breathe....

The reason I do it all....

My little diva!

Woman of courage...

2010-04-14T22:58:00.000-05:00

I came across this blog ( http://www.embracingelijah.com/ ) last week and it has just broken my heart. LC is 35 weeks pregant with her second child. He will be born next week but will not survive. Their precious Elijah has Trisomy 13. I can not imagine what that family is going through but I applaud her for her courage. She decided to give Elijah every opportunity that she could...and wants to keep him inside as long as possible. She will carry him to term and then have to say good bye immediately. I do not know this person and have only commented on her blog once. Please stop by and give her some words of ~~encouragement~~ ~~peace~~ ~~comfort~~ something....what can you say to someone in this situation? Please lift her and her family up in prayer as they are about to embark on a journey that will forever change their lives and break their hearts.

Well, hello there!

2010-04-13T22:06:00.001-05:00

Too busy for words! Life is good and kids are just great! BB is almost 8 months old. How is that possible? She is the sweetest baby! So much fun to be around. AB is doing great and has started playing basketball. He loves it and it's fun to do the whole sports thing with a kid! I am swamped with school. Only 4 weeks to go until the end of the semester. I can not wait. I still have homework to do and I really want to be in bed right now. I'll try to update more soon. Hope you are all doing well!

Oh, and don't you love how BB's bows match her pj's?

Attack Dog!!!

2010-04-02T22:48:00.001-05:00

Terrifying, huh?

Disclaimer: No children or dogs were injured!!!

Rite of Passage

2010-04-01T22:08:00.000-05:00

Bluebonnets (flowers) pop up in the spring all over the Austin area. Not sure about other parts of Texas. And every year people throw their dogs and babies into the middle of the flowers and take their photos. I call it the rite of passage for Texas babies!!

Ever seen a bluebonnet? Pretty, huh?

My subject wasn't being very cooperative!! She was too busy trying to eat the flowers!

Maybe we'll try again later.

Discontinued....

2010-03-29T22:01:00.001-05:00

I believe that the pacifiers that BB uses have been discontinued. I can't find them in any stores...only on ama zon . com. This is probably only the, lets say 25th, thing I use that has been discontinued. Of course, pacifiers disappear like socks in the dryer. We used to have about 12 and now we are down to 6 or so. Why oh why...especially a pacifier! I tried a different one on her today and she was less than thrilled with it. Hopefully the ones we have will last for quite a while.

All is well around her. I am struggling through my class and trying to keep my new camera from taking too much of my time! I've been trying to take photos of AB but he grumbles and complains so much that it's no fun for me! Oh well... My mom and grandmother are coming into town this weekend so I'm really excited about that. Then BB and I are making a trip to see the in laws in April. It will be her 2nd flight. Hopefully she will do as well as she did on the first one.

I have tons to do and it's already 9:30. Ugh! Where does the day go?

I leave you with a few cute photos!!

AB has had a whiny few days... not sure what's going on but it's a makin' me crazy! Hormones maybe? I'm not used to that from him.

Poor BB just threw up all over her crib. I heard her whimpering and went in to check on her. I saw that she spit up a little and then she started heaving...I grabbed her up and flipped her over. Poor baby. I hope that it's just a weird fluke and that she is not getting sick.

P.S. I am OUT OF CONTROL with the bows for this baby! She gets her band off on Friday and I can not wait to have bows on her head all the time!! =) Poor girl....she looks less than amused, huh?

Playing with exposure....

2010-03-26T20:14:00.000-05:00

Happy Anniversary

2010-03-25T17:28:00.001-05:00

We bought each other a Nikon D5000 camera! It is amazing. I don't know how to use it yet but I have a subject that can't run from me. So I should get lots of practice. I've figured out a few things since yesterday but look forward to learning more about the camera and editing! Yay!!

So...just a few of my faves! There were sooooo many good ones! So excited!!

We survived...

2010-03-22T22:05:00.000-05:00

spring break...just barely. We didn't do anything too exciting...AB just played with his friends and watched movies. The weather was just awesome so it was nice to be outside. We went to the kite festival here last weekend. It was pretty cool to see all of the huge kits flying around. There were hundreds of kites!

It was a gorgeous day and we had a nice time with friends. BB did great and took a nap on a blanket under an umbrella...for shade. (I had her in her carrier and didn't want to wake her up by taking her out of it....so I let her sleep on it!)

Bird down....hee hee

We visited with friends...

We watched movies...

We went to the park with some friends last Friday. It was a beautiful but incredibly windy day. We had a great time and BB had her first ride in a swing!

We played on the playground...

And contemplated life...well...at least that's what it looked like.

We took photos of two gorgeous, blue eyed sweethearts...

And my boy flashed that amazing smile...that only comes when he is truly happy...

We also went to see Diary of a Wimpy Kid. GREAT movie! BB went too and never made a peep.,..except to talk to the lady sitting behind us. She is such a good baby.

School started back for all of us today and we are trying to get back into the swing of things. This time change has us all messed up. It gets dark around 8 pm and it is so confusing. I came out of class tonight and saw daylight...just 2 weeks ago it was pitch black when I got out. Hopefully we will all adjust soon.

BB is sleeping better at night. She still only takes about 2 thirty minute naps a day. Doesn't leave alot of time for me to get things done. She goes to bed around 8 pm, is up around 12:30 for a bottle and then up again around 4-5 for a bottle. Then up for the day around 6:30 - 7 am. The longest she has ever slept in one stretch is 5 hours. I am so ready for her to sleep longer..so that I can sleep longer. Not sleeping soundly for 7 months is a little hard on this old body.

H and I are celebrating our 5 year anniversary on Wednesday. I can hardly believe that 5 years have passed since we said, "I do". This time 5 years ago we were in Ocho Rios, Jamaica playing in the ocean. What a fun time that was. We've been through a hell of a lot and things have not always been sunshine and roses. Sometimes far from it. Marriage is a crazy thing. I love him dearly and am so thankful for everything he does for me.

I love you honey...here's to many, many more happy years together!

Spring Picture and Spring Break

2010-03-11T22:54:00.000-06:00

Yes, I'm still alive. Yes, everyone is ok! I've been sooo busy. School is just insane and I am really ready to be through with this class. The kids are just awesome. AB is doing better at school. He is being bullied but I jumped on that as fast as I could. I've been in touch with teachers and the school counselor and the principal. They assure me that they are taking care of it. He seems to be doing a little better this week. I hope that things stay calm for him. BB is almost through wearing her DOC band. She has been in it for 5 weeks and only has 2 - 3 weeks to go...probably more like 3. Her head looks great and I will be so happy to see her head again. I really miss seeing her hair and kissing her on her head. Oh, she's also sleeping a little better. Not through the night but she will got 5-6 hours at a stretch. I have been getting up at least once during the night to feed her. She does to bed around 8:15, takes a bottle anywhere between 10:30 and 12:30 and then again around 5:30 - 6:00 am. She usually goes back to sleep until 7:30 or so. It's not a full night's sleep for me, but I'll take it! She has started to have a fake cough...and then she makes herself laugh...and then coughs and laughs. It's so cute! She was sitting on the couch today (propped up in the corner) and she decided that she wanted to lay on her tummy. So, she leaned forward and did just that! Glad I was close because she could have easily hit the floor! She's just a joy and I'm so thankful for her. I still, after almost 7 months, can hardly believe she's mine. By the way, can you believe that AB hs been with us for over 7 months already?!

I' ve been thinking about all of these profound blog posts that I want to write...and then I sit down and feel like I don't have time to get my thoughts together. Then it ends up just being facts and photos. I will do it soon.

So, here is AB's spring picture from school! He is so cute! If you look at his left eye you can see that it's kinda black. He and a friend (a girl) were playing and she acidentally bashed him in the face with a laundry basket. Makes me laugh to think about it. He was embarassed...rightfully so. We kept teasing him telling him that a girl gave him a black eye! He said he didn't like the photo because of that. I LOVE it though!!

A boy and his dog

Baby love!

Yes, she has milk mouth...but oh what a cute picture!

Marcia.....this is for you!!

Howdy!

2010-02-28T10:46:00.000-06:00

Look who has teeth! They popped through a few weeks ago. One right after the other. It's no wonder that she's been drooling buckets!! I can't believe my itty bitty teeny tiny baby is six months old! How can time possibly pass so quickly?

She is making great progress in her DOC Band. She's been in it for almost 4 weeks. I'm hoping that she only has to wear it for six weeks. We'll see. Her head is rounding out nicely!

She is starting to sit up by herself...for about 20-30 seconds at a time! I"m afraid it won't be long before she crawls! I don't want to rush that one! She is pushing up on her arms...looks like she is doing yoga! And scooting like an inch worm! We go for her 6 month check up on Tuesday and I can't wait to see how much she weighs. She is wearing 9 months clothes because she is sooo long! They barely touch her body around her middle, but she can finally straighten out her legs! She is finally eating pretty well. She averages about 4 ounces at each bottle feed. And she is eating her food nicely! She love the green stuff (peas, green beans), squash and sweet potatoes! She also loves yogurt! I gave it to her for the first time a few days ago. She is just precious and happy and barely fusses. What a great baby!!

AB had an interesting week. He and his BFF get in trouble for horsing around on Wednesday. I got a call from the school principal on Thursday and she said that AB had something to tell me. Oh Geez! Apparently a boy told AB to put a sign on a girl's back that said, "I have a di*k". WHAT?! That is so cruel! Needless to say, he was in big trouble. THEN, on Friday I got a call from a teacher saying that he was breaking crayons and chalk and throwing them across the room. Destroying school property....nice. SO. We saw the therapist on Saturday and really got to the bottom of what was going on. I figured it was because of all of the big changes in his life. I'm not so worried about him getting in trouble with his friend (although he did get in trouble). But the note thing? Turns out that he is scared of this kid that told him to put the note on her back. He apparently has been bullying AB and that's why he did what he said. Still not a nice thing to do, but I kinda get why he did it. And the crayons? Well, some kids were throwing them at him, distracting him from his work, and he got mad and threw them back. Not ok behavior, but again, I get why he did it. And the chalk? Well, he just wanted to draw with it. He swears he didn't break it and didn't throw it. We have had some talks and time together this weekend. Hopefully he will get it together and not get in trouble again anytime soon. Whew! How do parents do it?! Oh wait! I am one! When did that happen?!

Just in case you are wondering, going to school while your husband is working full time and working on his masters degree while raising 2 children is hard! I don't know how other people do it! And I don't work! I know moms that work full time, do the mom thing, and take 2 or 3 classes. They are better women than me!

On a totally different note, I have never really been able to make a pretty fried egg. Well, my mom had a brilliant idea....cook it slowly!! Who knew! Ha!! I was so proud that I took a photo!! I think that over easy fried eggs are just gross. But AB loves them so I had to learn how to make them. They are all jiggly and squishy and runny...and the white part is all slimy...GAG!!

The End

Snow Day in Austin!!

2010-02-23T16:16:00.000-06:00

It's a boy!!! Edited: Added more photos

2010-02-18T23:19:00.002-06:00

We finalized AB's adoption yesterday!! He is officially our son. Not that it feels any different that it ever has. It was literally a 5 minute legal hearing and the judge never even looked at us. And the attorney thought we were adopting BB...so when she got to the part of the paperwork where she read AB's name, she was all confused thinking that our baby girls name was AB. She looked at me like "What is going on!?"..I pointed to AB and said, "we are adopting him!". She was so embarassed and kept apologizing. Don't they even read the paperwork?
AB is so excited and is very happy. He changed his name from SAB to AKB and he loved the silver monogrammed dogtags that we bought him. He's been wearing it since we gave it to him. On the way home from Dallas he said, "I can't believe I finally have a family!". I said, "Babycakes, you've had a family since long before you even stepped foot in to this house!" He just smiled.

So, finally, after months of waiting....I am happy to introduce my son....AB

I am super busy right now and don't have much time to blog. I promise I'll give more details and add more photos asap.

Waiting to go into court! Can you tell he loves this jacket?

Baby sis...chillin in the recliner!

Bullet Points...too much going on

2010-02-10T22:42:00.000-06:00

Life is crazy...so bullet points it is.

* BB is doing great in her doc band. We went in for a check after five day and her head shape has already changed. Not sure of how the numbers work, but we had 3 mm change in 5 days. We need 16 mm total. She doesn't even notice it. It was getting a little tight on her forehead and leaving red marks and indentions. I just cried and cried becuase I just knew that she was in pain. Yeah...like I said. She doesn't even notice it. The red marks were because it was getting too tight. It's amazing to think her head can change shape in 5 days!
People have been really nice. I was so worried aout it. Yesterday and man looked at her and said, "Hi cutie. Look at your little helmet!" Cue my opportunity to educate. I asked if he knew what it was for. He said no. So I told him. He was super nice. Same thing for the cashier at Target. I actually don't really give people time to ask...I just say something about not being alarmed by her little hat. And then give a quick reason why she's wearing it. I am sooo happy that people have been so nice about it. It was really stupid of me to worry so much. I was letting my vanity for my own daughter guide my thinking. Not a good thing. I realize now that this is absolutely the best thing for her. That is our goal as mothers. Period. Thanks for you kindness in regards to this whole thing.

This photo is a little squished???

* AB is doing great. We are leaving Tuesday night for Dallas for his adoption hearing. The hearing is at 8:30 am on Wednesday so we are going up the night before. It's a 3 hour drive. We are really excited. I can only imagine how it feels for him to know that this is it. He told me that he was so worried that be would turn 18 in foster care and not have a family when he grew up. BREAKS. MY. HEART. He definitely doesn't have to worry about that! I told him that he's going to be around when I'm old and gray. I asked him if he was gonna change my diaper when I got old. He was grossed out! hee hee I can't wait to share photos of him! Next week my friends! I can't believe how quickly these 6 months have passed. I wanted to get him a gift for Gotcha Day so my husband found a sterling silver dog tag that we are going to have engraved. It is on a chain and has a keepsake box. He loves all things military so it seems appropriate for a lifelong gift! I think he is going to love it. We are getting ready for his Valentine's Day party at school on Friday. I have to make brownies for him to take and he is writing Valentine cards for his classmates. Too cute! It's fun doing all of this school stuff! How's this for a pretty good glimpse of my gorgeous boy?!

* I was heading to school tonight, after dropping the kids off with my husband, and felt a migraine coming on. My vision got all wonky and I knew that I needed to go home. I took excedrine migraine as soon as I could stop at the pharmacy to buy some. It didn't get too bad. I came home and slept for about 2 hours. It stinks that I missed class, especially since my husband has to leave work early on Monday and Wednesday for me to get there on time. I can go tomorrow night and make up the lecture and lab. But my hubby has to figure out leaving work early yet again. He's sooo supportive and makes it easy for me to continue my education. He is a great guy. He does soooo much and is amazing with AB and BB. He gets AB ready for school every day and usually takes BB so I can sleep in in the mornings. Needless to say, BB is not sleeping through the night. Up 2-3 times. And she only takes 2-3 30 minute naps during the day. Geez...I wonder why I got a migraine? Can we say lack of sleep? Still haven't figured out the studying thing and family thing. First test on Monday and I'm so not ready.

* In laws were here last weekend. They are great and we had a nice time. They bought BB a highchair and she loves it. It's so much easier to feed her in it than her bumbo. They just love the kids and it warms my heart! My mom is coming this weekend and I'm very excited. She does soooo much while she's here and it will be nice to have some help for a few days. My friends keep telling me to let them take the kids and help out. It's just that we can't get our schedules together for it to happen! I want to have a date with H but we just haven't planned on yet. As soon as we do, K and K...look out! I'm throwing the kids your way!!

* My sister is a troubled individual. I'm pretty sure she's bi-polar. She had gastric bypass last year and lost 130 ish pounds in less than a year. Very addictive personalilty, addicted to food before surgery. Can't be addicted to food after surgery so you can imagine what has unfolded. Prescription drugs, alcohol, etc. She has been very unhappy for a long time but it has been utter chaos in her household since surgery. Her 12 year old daughter is acting out and is out of control right now. I've offered for her to come live here for a while because I'm afraid that she's going to hurt herself. 12 years old and on anti depressants, sleeping meds...etc. I totally disagree with this because she can clearly choose how to act. She is an angel when she's with me. And a devil when with her mom. I totally get it. She doesn't know how to handle the chaos that is her family. And I have a 10 year old nephew and 4 year old niece too. Anyway, all of that to say, my sister decided that we would be better off without her and tried to overdose on pills. She got home with her kids and told them to go play. She wrote a suicide note and proceeded to take handfuls of pills. 12 year old finds her slurring and acting drunk and calls 911. Sister is ok...had quite a hangover for several days. And I don't even think she really gets the severity of what she did. Fuel for the fire of 12 year olds behavior. She said that it just hit her and she decided in about 20 minutes to do it. No apologies really...it just happened and there is nothing she can do about it. I have NO idea how to help her. Plus we live in different states. Thankfully. Any ideas? I have no idea about depression as I don't suffer with it.

* My brain has been full and noisy. I don't like it. Very concerned about my sister and her family. Stressed about school. Blessed as all get out to have a wonderful husband and 2 amazing children. Blessed that we don't have to deal with social workers after next week!

I leave you with BB's newest trick. Sticking out her tongue all the time!

She has so much hair all of a sudden! This was today after bath time. She gets 1 hours out of her band a day.

Better than expected

2010-02-04T21:32:00.001-06:00

BB got her doc band today and I was so suprised at how well she did. I was soooo happy about it. She didn't even seem to notice. I hope that the next 6-8 weeks goes by quickly and she is comfortable. I decorated the band with butterflies and flowers so it looks really cute. She wore it in the office for about 15 minutes and her head was soaked with sweat. It is supposed to get better as she adjusts to it but holy cow!

I'm exhausted, lots going on but no time to blog right now. Hope
you are ok!

Wordless Saturday

2010-01-30T11:07:00.000-06:00

Little Bank Robber

2010-01-28T10:44:00.006-06:00

BB had her DOC band fitting this week. She had to wear this stocking over her head to capture a 3D image. Then they put her on this stool and had her look at a computer monitor with cool videos to try and capture her attention to take a photograph. Very sophisticated! She just smiled the entire time. Such a sweet, good baby girl.

We go in next Thursday to pick it up. The more I am involved, the less freaked out I am. I actually bought scrap book stickers to decorate. Flowers and butterflies and dragonflies. We have to make it look pretty for her! I feel better about putting her in the band. When looking at the 3D image of the top of her head, I could really see how misshapen it is. How did we miss that all this time? I wouldn't hesitate to put braces on her teeth if they are crooked. Why would I not fix her head? I'll post photos as soon as we get her in it. Hopefully she'll only have to wear it for 6 weeks.

On a different note, AB is sooo excited about his adoption. We are going to visit his foster mom and some old friends that day. It's hard to believe it's already here. I had class last night, and hubby gets him ready for school, so I didn't see him all day. I really did not like that one bit. So, I got up this morning and we talked for a while and I walked him to the bus stop. Such a sweet boy. I'm so very blessed!

My friends did a photo shoot of BB and I just had to share a couple of amazing photos! These are the proofs....they are doing touch ups on a bunch! Can't wait to see how amazing those turn out!

She LOVED this fabric...it was soft and fuzzy and she wiggled and laughed the entire time she was on it!

P.S. I just saw that this is my 200th post! Wow...who knew I had so much to say?!

Gotcha Day!

2010-01-25T22:09:00.001-06:00

We will officially welcome AB into our family on February 17! We couldn't be more excited! He is just the sweetest boy and I can't wait until I can officially share him with you here. Last night I was browsing the internet about doc bands and he could tell I was sad. He came up to me, put his arm around me, kissed me on the head and said, "Mom, don't be sad. It's gonna be ok..." Seriously? I could squeeze him til his head pops off! But I won't. =) I can't even believe how quickly the past 6 months have passed. He has grown and matured so much and we have bonded and fallen in love with him. He is my son..and I love him more than anything. And he loves his baby sister...and I love her more than anything. Wow...just wow.

Plagiocephaly

2010-01-23T20:02:00.000-06:00

This is an email that I sent to family...it was easier just to copy and paste it.

"As you know, we have been concerned with BB's right cheek being bigger than her left. Her pediatrician noticed it at her 4 month check up and we have been trying to figure out what's going on since. We saw a physical therapist who said that she seemed to be fine, no muscular issues, and to just do neck stretches during the day. The pediatrician wanted us to see a craniofacial plastic surgeon but we couldn't get an appointment until February 26. I wasn't satisfied with that so I started researching what could be going on. There is a condition called plagiocephaly (flat head syndrome) and it causes facial assymetry, specifically one cheek being larger than the other. I found a website that all but confirmed what I had been suspecting.

http://www.cranialtech.com/

We scheduled an evaluation and they saw us 2 days later. They were amazing. They took photos of BB from all angles and took detailed measurements of her head. From front to back, top to bottom, ear to eye, diagonal, etc. The average assymetry of a normal head is between 2-4 mm. BB's is 16 mm. The notes state this: "BB is a 5 month old female referred for treatment of her plagiocephaly. She presents with right occipital flattening, left frontal flattening and associate facial asymmetry. She has an ear shift with the right ear anterior to the left. Right parietal occipital flattening, left frontal flattening, right eye and cheek anterior to the left."

So, why is this happening? Well, since we put babies on their backs to sleep, there is lots of pressure on the back of the head. Since the skull is soft, it flattens out. BB has always preferred to look to her right as well as sleep with the right side of her head down. We noticed that she had this preference but every one said that babies just do that. So, when the doctor said something we really started to notice it. We can wait it out and see what happens. Or we can have her wear a DOC band for about 2 months to even out the shape of her head. The physical therapist we saw says that the surgeon we are scheduled to go see often plays the waiting game. But the longer we wait to treat it, the longer it will take to fix it. It goes from 2 months of treatment up to 5-6 months. You can check out that website for more details about the DOC band. She will have to wear it 23 hours a day.

I am very sad that she has to go through this, but I am grateful that it is nothing serious. I dare anyone to say something unkind about her. From what I've been told, the parents have a much harder time that the babies do. I hope that's the case. She is just such a happy girl and I don't want to give her reason not to be.

This is actually more than a cosmetic thing too. If we don't fix it, her eye socket and forehead will continue to protrude and could possibly lead to issues with her vision as well as a misaligned jaw."

So...I am freaking out and I can't quite figure out why. It just makes me soo very sad that BB has to go through this. I KNOW it could be so much worse and this is really nothing in the grand scheme of things. But it breaks my heart. I have just cried and cried and felt so bad for her. I KNOW 8 weeks is really no time at all...especially considering how quickly the last 5 months have passed. I don't want to have to deal with stupid people saying stupid things. I will not be nice if anyone says something mean or hateful. People are always coming up to me saying how pretty she is and what beautiful eyes she has. Today in Target a lady told me "she's' perfect!". I imagine that people will not say nice things about her with the band on. And that just infuriates me! Hopefully I'm wrong and am getting worked up for no reason. At least she is too young to know what people are saying and she won't remember this. I just HATE it! I will do it for her...but I HATE it!

Anybody had to deal with something like this? I need some love!

Oh, and did I mention that it costs $4000. And that insurance will not cover it? Yeah...nice, huh?

I thought I would include a photo that they took of her. Not the best pic of my girl, they slicked her hair down with water...but she's still a cutie.
They took several photos but I'll just share this one.

In this photo, you can clearly see that the top of her head is uneven and the left side (right side on photo) protrudes out towards the back. Her ears are also uneven. She has a Hemangioma over her left ear...she was born with it...in case you were wondering.

Dripping with Sweetness...

2010-01-19T22:36:00.000-06:00

She was sooo sleepy...

p.s. Isn't that ruffle on her butt the cutest thing ever?!

Thanks!!

2010-01-15T19:11:00.002-06:00

My bloggy friend Amy is awesome! Her mom makes her daughter the most adorable hats! Well, guess what?!

She sent me one! Thanks Amy!! I LOVE it!

Oh, and I finally found a bow that will stay in her hair. It actually has a little piece of the stuff you put under rugs to keep them from sliding around attached to it. Too cute! She's only worn it in photos, but I will take her out on the town with it soon! As long as she's not wearing her awesome hat!

This baby girl loooovvvves her daddy!

P.S. Watching Super Nanny. Ever watch that show? I can't even believe how some of the kids and parents act! Geez!

Sleep

2010-01-14T12:29:00.000-06:00

It's finally getting better! Whew! I've been one exhausted mama! Last night she woke for a bottle at 10:30 and not again until 4:00 am. Then she went back to sleep until 7:15! So basically, I only had to wake up once to feed her! I couldn't believe it! I'm very excited about it. I just hope that I haven't just jinxed myself by blogging about it.

I can't believe that she is almost 5 months old! I met a lady a few days ago that had a 2 week old baby boy. He was so tiny! And he weight almost 9 pounds at birth! Then I thought back to how teeny tiny BB was and it just blows my mind how quickly she has grown! I want to enjoy every moment...because (as Cindy says), babies don't keep.

A woman's work is NEVER done

2010-01-12T21:55:00.000-06:00

I actually thought that I would go to bed around 9 pm tonight. BWAAAAHAHAHAHA! What was I thinking?

I ran errands (bank, post office, Target), stabbed myself in the palm of my left hand with a little pocket knife. The gross out factor was much worse that the actual stab. Was supposed to go by the school to buy my book for this sememster and forgot. Go me! Got home and fed BB. Helped AB with a science project (by the way..if you mix corn starch/flour with water it turns into the strangest quicksand stuff...something about velocity and a non-newtonian something or other. If you try this, don't pour it down the sink. It's like cement...sort of. It made a HUGE mess...that I of course had to clean up, but it was waaay cool), made dinner, fed BB her baby food, ate dinner, got BB to sleep. I heard hubby cleaning the kitchen and was like YES! Yeah....well....I appreciate what he did but there were still pots and pans to clean, bottles to wash, counters to wipe down, dishwasher to start, laundry to be done, paperwork for AB that HAS to be turned in, dogs to feed and water...and the list goes on and on. So, I thought, why not just blog instead of getting it all done and getting to bed?

Here is a question for you? Do you just leave your kitchen dirty, chores undone and go to bed? Or are you a neat freak like me and can't rest easy until it's all done?

No news on an appointment for BB. The CFPS did get her records so I have to wait on them to call me back.

Oh, and I've called and emailed AB's social worker about his adoption and have not heard back from her. I also called the attorney we are using (in Dallas) and still haven't heard back from them either. Arrrggghhhh....

Oh, Oh...I found a book that AB has and he is supposed to fill in the blanks, etc. He put his nickname as: Litte Boy. The reason? I am a little boy to my mom. Awww...and yes, I do call him little boy!

It keeps getting scarier....

2010-01-11T11:27:00.000-06:00

Since the physical therapist did not see any issues with BB's muscles, the pediatrician wants us to go see a cranio facial plastic surgeon (CFPS). I think I had a little bit of a heart attack when she said that. She said that hopefully the surgeon will tell her that she's crazy and there is absolutely nothing wrong. But she wants to make absolutely certain. I can appreciate that about her. But it doesn't mean that I'm freaking out any less. I called the CFPS to make an appointment and asked when the soonest I could come in would be. He went on to tell me that they have certain clinics on certain days and that the nurse would have to see BB's clinical notes before they could schedule it. Then he threw words out like craniosynostosis and plagiocephaly. Lord have mercy! BB doesn't look like she has any of these issues. Her head is round, no flat spots. And we haven't seen any skull issues yet. LaLa, how did you do it? I don't know how you didn't crawl in a hole and never come out! So, all of that so say, we don't think anything is going on (recap: BB's left cheek is smaller than her right...just a little), most people's faces are not perfectly symmetrical, and we are just seeing this doctor as a precaution. I am still terrified. Stress eating ( not good for my diet plan...), crying when I look at my baby girl and she smiles at me. I'm praying and praying that everything is ok. I am still waiting on the medical records to get faxed over so I can make an appointment. It will most likely be in February sometime.

On a different note, AB is doing well. He got in trouble at school this week and I had to go pick him up to avoid suspension! They are allowed on the computer at school and one of the teachers showed them how to make their own cartoons/animations on a website. They can access this site but there is a section where they can play games too. AB and his friend started playing a game that was rated R and was all shooting and blood and killing. I'm suprised that this site wasn't blocked. Even so, he KNEW better! He blamed everyone else for him getting in trouble, typical stuff. I told him that he has to take responsibility for his own actions and that no one forced him to do something. He makes his own decisions and if someone gets you in trouble, maybe you need to not hang around with them. He also got in trouble for running and playing in the bathrooms and not listening to the teacher. Geez...kids! =) It wasn't the worst thing in the world but we acted like it was. He cried and cried. I think because he doesn't like for anyone to be upset. Especially at him. He was grounded from video games, friends, skateboarding (although it's been too cold anyway) for a week. I think he won't be doing that again any time soon. We didn't get loud and scream. We calmly talked to him and laid it all out.

We are hoping to finalize his adoption some time next month. It all depends on social workers and how quickly they can get their stuff together.

Now, on to a totally different note. Something I'm really proud of! Who knew that I would be a homemade baby food making kind of mom!? Not me!

Avocado and applesauce babyfood!

It's actually pretty simple and I know for certain what BB is eating...no additives or preservatives. Plus you only need a few things to make it.

You start out with organic fruits and veggies. I started her on applesauce. Then moved on to avocados! Sweet potatoes will be next!

Then you peel, cut into chunks and steam. I use this rice cooker that has a steamer on top. Works well!

Once the food is nice and soft, I put it into this blender and add some cooking liquid to thin it out. This thing sounds like an airplane taking off! It is awesome! I bet it would grind rocks if I put them in there!

Once the food is nicely pureed, I put it into BPA free ice cube trays and freeze!

This is actually pears...we'll try those next month. Once it is frozen, pop into freezer bags and thaw as needed.

The result?

A happy baby who loves avocado and applesauce mixed together! She finished the entire bowl. And barely spit any out.

Look what she can do!

2010-01-07T21:26:00.005-06:00

My angel rolled over today! Three times in a row! And she giggled and laughed over and over today. She's been laughing some but she really got after it today!!

Oh, and this week is International Blog Delurking Week. Would you be oh so kind to leave a comment (name and location is fine!) just so I know who is out there?! I would really appreciate it!!

Updates and Sophie the Giraffe

2010-01-06T14:43:00.000-06:00

BB went to see the physical therapist today. She is right on track developmentally and the PT sees no cause for concern. I am feeling a bit better but still want to follow up with the pediatrician. The PT wants us to give her lots more tummy time and to do some neck stretches for her. She tends to favor looking to her right and we need to encourage her to look to her left as well.

Oh, by the way, dear internets. I always thought that when babies rolled over for the first time that it was from their back to their belly. The PT told me that they roll from their belly to their back! Who knew?! I'm sure you did...I'm just crazy.

So, BB had a blow out in her diaper...poop everywhere! I decided that since I needed a shower anyway that I would just take her in with me and bathe her in there. Do you have any idea what it's like bathing a baby in the shower? It's like trying to hold onto one of these...

Remember these toys? They slip through your hands and they are really hard to grasp?! Well, multiply that times 100 and that's what it's like to bathe a baby in the shower!! Or it could be likened to holding a greased pig. Except more slippery.

I also decided that it was time to get BB a Sophie the Giraffe toy. I've heard great things about them. Babies love them, blah blah blah. They are really cute! But I kinda felt like I was giving her a really expensive French squeaky dog toy.

But now I have a problem. My dog?? Well, she seems to think it's a dog toy too.

She was actually having a staring contest with Sophie.

I've had a dog whining for Sophie since I brought her home. If Patches eats Sophie I will not be happy! Sophie is too expensive for a baby to chew on!Much less a dog!

Look who found her feet! Oh, to be that bendy! If you guessed that her socks are now always wet, you are correct!

4 month doctor visit

2010-01-04T18:37:00.000-06:00

Let me start by saying that this past week was just about the busiest of my life. My friends came to visit with their daughter. It was so much fun! They are awesome. Then my family came..and they are awesome too. But Holy Hell! My 4 year old niece (who is absolutely beautiful) is a tasmanian devil! Run, scream, run, break stuff, run, scream, break stuff, run, scream, get into everything in the entire house! It was just exhausting trying to keep her from tearing my house apart. And my sister? Barely seems to notice. Not to mention the stress it put on my husband. He was a beast too! I could go on and on but I won't. Let me just say that I am glad to have my house back and to have peace and quiet again.

I took BB to her 4 month appointment today. And the first thing the pediatrician said when she walked into ther room was, "have you noticed that her face is not symmetrical?" Ummm...no. I haven't. She said that her left cheek is smaller than her right. She sees no signs of any skull issues and the rest of her body is fine. She said it could be nothing or it could be something. I've looked and looked and can't see a difference. She wants us to go see a physcial therapist to make sure her muscles are working properly. If they don't see anything there, she wants us to see a neurologist. Can I say that I absolutely lost it? Tears just flowed. My sweet angel...who never complains or cries...who is the most precious baby that has ever lived....might have something wrong with her? Every horrible story that I've ever heard flew through my brain in an instant. Most likely it's nothing...but it could be something. I am terrified. I immediately called the physical therapist and made an appointment. I would have gone today if I could. (BB is napping and lost her pacifier. I went to put it back in and she put both of her hands on mine and just held my hand. Sooooo sweet.) She also had her 2nd round of vaccinations. She was smiling and cooing...and WHAM! Tears and huge cries. She never cries and it just absolutely broke my heart. Plus I was already having a hard time...so the tears just flowed. AB was with me and he cried too! I've always heard that being a mom is like wearing your heart on the outside of your body. It's true... can you see why?

Who does she look like?

2010-01-01T11:01:00.000-06:00

Me?

Or her dad?

P.S. It's pretty sad how few photos I have with me and BB! I'm always behind the camera...sigh.

Bad Blogger

2009-12-26T20:32:00.000-06:00

My bloggy friend Marcia gave me an award the other day, and I have YET to respond to it! Thank you Marcia...I promise that I am working on a post. I just can't get it together lately! And, AND I am having guests next week from Tuesday until the following Monday! Busy busy busy!!

We had a nice Christmas. AB got lots of fun things and had a great time. He is truly just the cutest little guy!! BB was so attentive and watched everything that was going on. We went to the movies to see the Alvin and the chimpmunks movie and BB sat and watched the entire movie. She never even made a sound. Best baby ever!! She definitely did NOT get that from her mother! =)

One year ago today...

2009-12-24T12:01:00.001-06:00

True love began. I had no idea what was in store and I was terrified. But now, one year later, I have a gorgeous baby girl sitting in my lap as I type.

And a gorgeous little boy sitting in the floor wrapping gifts for his friend. Who would have thought? Thank you God for my beautiful children. Thank you for giving me the best gifts of all.

Merry Christmas to you! I hope that all of your dreams come true this year.

P.S. Look who was totally busted! I caught her in action!

Generosity

2009-12-19T22:15:00.001-06:00

A couple of months ago I got a mass email from our social worker asking for foster parents to give her a wish list for their kids Christmas gifts. Well, I assumed that this did not mean us....AB is in an adoptive placement. Not foster care. Turns out that he was included and I was amazed! So, we gave her a list of his likes. We went to the agency Christmas party last weekend and they told us to make sure and get the gift bags before we left. They absolutely loaded him up with stuff! Nice things...legos, skateboard helmet, clothes, transformers, science kits...I was so blown away by their generosity. We let him open a couple of things and the rest we wrapped and put under the tree. Not only is it wonderful for him, but it gives us a boost as well. We don't go nuts for Christmas, but we did want him to have a nice one. And it will be. But that made it even nicer.

Fast forward to Friday when a package arrived on my doorstep. It was another package of gifts from CPS for AB! What?! It was full of all kinds of neat toys. Nice things!! Once again...blown away.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that all of these toy drives, etc., are set up for kids just like AB. Imagine what his Christmas would have been like in foster care without the generosity of people who simply care about children. I have made a committment that we will, from this point forward, donate toys, money, etc. for the holidays. It really hits home...and I've been very selfish over the years. No more! I want a child to feel special, just like AB did and does. It truly warms my heart to think of those people who gave so much to this little Texan...that I get to call my son. Thank you. It means more than you know.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!!

2009-12-17T18:08:00.001-06:00

I Hate Pacifiers

2009-12-11T11:44:00.000-06:00

I thought, in the beginning, that BB would not be taking a pacifier. You know, because I would be breastfeeding and have gallons of milk and I didn't want her to have nipple confusion. Then I woke up and realized the girls were as dry as a bone. Since that didn't matter, we started giving it to her and realized that it really did soothe her. But she has this pattern...it goes something like this...

GIVE ME MY PACI NOW!!!
NOM NOM NOM NOM
Calm Baby
Spit pacifier out
GIVE ME MY PACI NOW!!!
NOM NOM NOM NOM
Calm Baby
Spit pacifier out
GIVE ME MY PACI NOW!!!

NOM NOM NOM NOM
Calm Baby
Spit pacifier out

TIMES INFINITY!!!!! Makes me want to RIP OUT MY HAIR!! (and it usually happens around 4 am)

So, we have an Angel Care Monitor. Ever heard of it? It is a sensor pad that goes under the baby's mattress and alarms if no movement is felt for at least 20 seconds. It really gives me peace of mind!! But, since moving BB into her baby bed, the blasted thing has gone off several times. She has been breathing every time. It's just if she moves too far off of the sensor pad no movement is "sensed" and the alarm sounds. It happened several times on Sunday and Monday and I couldn't for the life of me figure out what was going on! Finally, I pulled the bed apart to inspect everything and just happened to look at the sensitivity setting. 5 is most sensitive and 1 is least. Well, my lovely husband decided to change the setting to 1 because he thought that was the right thing to do. Arrrrggghhh!! I could have choked him! So, I put the setting back to 5 and we have had no problems. Until last night. Now, I have no idea how our brains work and how our bodies can be in motion while we are still asleep. But let me tell you, I woke up standing over BB's bed with my hand on her chest. My heart was pounding and and I was terrified!! It took me a few seconds to realize what happened. The alarm went off (at 2:30 am) and my husband and I both jumped up to check on her. I don't know how we didn't slam into each other in the process! I managed to throw the covers back, jump out of bed, step over 2 dog beds in the floor and get to her. All without falling or stepping on a dog or knocking over my husband. She was fine and breathing...she just scooted to the edge of the bed and her movement wasn't being picked up. This apparently happens to alot of people. I will take the false alarms because heaven forbid something truly did happen, at least I know that it works. But man, did I almost have a heart attack!! The sensor pad is probably 8 inches square. Why can't the company just make the sensor pad larger and then this wouldn't happen? Maybe I should call and tell them what I think!

Randomness and Photos

2009-12-07T21:52:00.004-06:00

We finally bought BB a baby bed! It is in our bedroom and it looks great! She seems to like it so far! imagine it's much more comfortable than the pack n play.

The first time in her new bed!!!

We put up our Christmas tree on Sunday. AB was such a great helper! It's a slim line tree so it doesn't take up too much space. It's very sparkly with all of the ornaments on it.

I have been pretty busy with the holidays and just being a full time mama! It's wonderful. It is so hard to believe that this time last year I sobbed and sobbed because I just knew that I would never have children. What a difference a year makes....I am beyond blessed and thankful.

I start back to school in January. I'm looking forward to getting the ball rolling but I know it's going to be hard. My husband is going to watch the kids while I take a night class...physiology. It will be hard but I will do my best! Hopefully that will get me an A.

AB is doing great and we are just having the best time. Our little family is bonding and it feels so awesome! We are still shooting for his adoption to be finalized in February. I'm crossing everything I've got!

BB is doing great too. She still eats like a little bird...only 1.5 - 2 ounces at a time..most times. She will take 3 ounces once or twice a day...and then 4-5 ounces (on a good day) on her 11 pm bottle. She has been going to sleep around 6 pm.... there is no keeping her up when she's sleepy. I'll normally feed her around 8 and then again around 11. After her 11 pm bottle she sometimes will sleep for 4...maybe 5 hours. Then she's up every 2 or so hours until 8 am. I am exhausted and actually got a horrible migraine the other day. H had to come home from work so I could sleep it off. I slept for about 4 hours and was able to function a little after that. I could have slept for 5 days I think.

I have also developed (what I think is) plantar fasciitis. Imgaine the worst pain ever in your heels and walking makes it even worse. Yeah...fun times. That whole exercise thing I wanted to start? Definitely not happening right now. I have been walking my dogs but my heels absolutely kill me when I do. And getting up during the night? I can hardly walk. I don't mean to complain, but it hurts!!

So, here is an adorable photo I took of BB when we were at my in laws house. She woke up about 11 pm and was pretty awake. My mother in law was holding her and she posed like this. It was sooo funny! I took it with my cell phone because it was handy. I picture her saying something like, "What a day!"

This is a gorgeous Strausburg Children's dress that my mother in law bought. If you have never been to one of their stores, I would highly recommend you go! They have the most beautiful dresses. All smocked and beaded. Just gorgeous!

And finally, tummy time...score!! Normally BB screams her head off when she is on her belly. But today, she actually enjoyed herself for about 2 minutes!

Conversations with boys...aye aye aye!!

2009-12-02T19:18:00.000-06:00

Me, AB and his friend MS were sitting in the living room talking.

AB: Why does Molly have all of these warts? (15 year old dog)

ME: They are not warts. They are old dog bumps.

AB: Warts come from a frog peeing on you. I knew this kid that a frog peed on and the next day he had a big wart on his finger.

ME: I'm not so sure about that. I think warts just kinda happen.

MS: If you get warts on your stuff that means you are pregnant, right?

ME: When you say stuff do you mean your boy parts?

MS: Yeah...doesn't that mean you are pregnant?

ME: Ummm...no....not exactly....uh....mmm....how about that video game?!

Biggest Loser....

2009-12-01T22:21:00.000-06:00

ROCKS!! I watched the episode tonight, where the final 4 ran the marathon. I actually cried watching them cross the finish line. I have a special place in my heart for this show and it's contestants. I followed this plan (started 2 years ago yesterday) and lost 50 pounds in about 8 months. I worked my rear off at the gym, walked my dogs for miles a day, and was in the best shape of my life. When I first started working out I pictured all of the people on the show, working themselves almost to death to get in shape. My mantra was "if they can do it, I can do it. I can do anything for 1 more minute!" It was hard and I hated every second of working out. But I loved the results. It took longer than most and I hit lots of plateaus where I didn't lose a pound for weeks on end. But I stuck with it and it paid off.

When I found out I was pregnant and had a huge hematoma and major bleeding I was restricted from doing too much. Then I was scared to do anything. I haven't worked out in almost a year. I weigh now what I weighed when I got pregnant...so at least I haven't gained! But I'm soft....so so soft. I decided tonight that there is no room for excuses. I don't need a gym membership...I can do videos. (I've never been more miserably sore than when I did a biggest loser workout video. I couldn't walk for days!). I have no desire to be skinny, but I would like to lose about 35 pounds (yes, I'll still be overweight!). It HAS to be done! I have two beautiful children to get healthy for.

I'm throwing this out there so that maybe you guys will keep me on my toes....ask me how I'm doing...and cheer me on. Dieting and exercise is not easy...it takes TONS of mental power. I'm ready for the challenge. Anybody with me?

Mom, I think you're nuts!!!

PS. Sorry I can't share AB with you. It won't be much longer!

BB is amazing!

2009-11-24T23:07:00.000-06:00

She did absolutely great on the plane. She never complained, even once! We made it to Kentucky and it is beautiful here. It doesn't hurt that my in-laws live in a magnficent home on a golf course. My entire house is smaller than their lower level! My MIL had everything set up for BB. A crib, changing table, diapers, wipes, baby wash and lotion, tons of clothes, a bathtub thingy, formula....I didn't need to bring a thing! We have been going 90 miles an hour since I've been here and I really haven't rested but it's been nice. I've been spoiled rotten for almost 2 weeks. So has BB and AB. Speaking of, they flew in last night and got here really late. It was so good to see my boys! I missed them!

Anyway, I just fed BB and need to get to sleep while she is sleeping. Here's to 4 + hours...but we'll see! Hope you are all doing well!

Keeping It Real

2009-11-17T02:23:00.000-06:00

Disclaimer: It is 2 am and I can't find the spell checker on this updated blogger thing. Anyone know wher eit is? Please excuse typos.

I should be sleeping...considering I have to be up in 2 hours for a flight to Kentucky. BB and I are taking our first trip together...and to be honest...I am terrified. Not of flying, but of the unknowns of flying with a baby. I am trying to think of every scenario and have everything I'll need within arms reach on the plane. I'm not one to shy away from travelling, but this has shaken me a bit. I know we'll be fine.

My bloggy friend Marcia from South Africa has challenged me a bit today. She writes that she loves blogs that are authentic and real...not cutesy. I was in bed, trying to sleep after just feeding BB, and this just kept running through my mind. I haven't had the energy to sit and really focus on life. It's just easier to post photos and show off my precious children. SO, thanks for the challenge Marcia. Here goes....it's gonna be a long one.

The last 15 weeks have been like none I've ever experienced before. I became a mom two times over and have been clueless the majority of the time...especially when it comes to AB. Don't get me wrong, we are really doing ok and learning as we go. AB is a happy child, mainly due to his own sweet heart, and we are doing our best to give him a stable and loving home. I will say that we have all had to adjust. I've said before that for us, there has not been some magic moment where we became an instant family and it was all butterflies and rainbows. We have had wonderful moments that are building our relationship, no doubt. For instance, I told AB about a week ago that I would buy him ice cream. We have been busy and I just didn't get around to doing it. I've thought about it but haven't done it. So, today after I picked him up from school, I took him for ice cream. I told him that I didn't want to be a bad mom by promising to do something and then not doing it. He looked at me and said, "You could never be a bad mom. Even if you didn't do what you promised." See what I mean? Moments of heart swelling, overflowing, wonderful love! These little moments are what is building our family...it's what is building his trust and ours. If I allow myself to stop and remember what he's been through I can hardly stand it. I find myself busying my mind and not thinking too much about it. Is it because I'm busy or is it a defense mechanism for me? I am truly falling in love with this little boy and would fight anyone that tried to take him from me. I tell him that I love him 50 times a day. I had a mommy bracelet made with his and BB's name on it. When I showed it to him his face just lit up ( I can't wait to show you his face. He is soooo gorgeous)...like he was so in awe that I had his name on my wrist. I told him that he's always with me now and that he always will be. I am so grateful to have him. It has been challenging for all of us...for AB learning to have new parents with new rules (I monitor his TV closely, we do not have cable, he has extremely limited access to the internet, I'm very careful about movies he watches, etc.), a new sister, who he describes as a screaming baby doll, new friends, a new school..the list goes on and on . And for us, as a couple. If you think a new baby takes all of your time....you see where I'm going. And yes, I know that parents have more than one child every day. It's just that the timing of all of this was great...and awful all at the same time. I didn't get the chance to spend time just with AB....and I didn't get the chance to spend time with just BB. We've had to learn to adjust and it's been fine. But I feel like my children, especially AB, has been cheated. I am just to thankful that AB is such a great kid. He's been in trouble a few times...what kid doesn't get in trouble? And we've taken away his beloved skateboard and video games....and I made him go to bed Sunday afternoon after having lunch with friends because he was rude and whiny at lunch. (He was tired from his campout, I get it. But I don't think that being tired is a valid excuse for anyone being rude. Hell, I haven't slept in 3 months and am not rude (well, except to my poor husband). Speaking of whining and video games, AB started crying because he couldn't figure out a game that he and H were playing. I told them to turn it off and that there are no tears in video games! Cry over something that matters! Not a stupid game! (I'm a peach, huh?) All of this to say, life is good. We are challenged in awesome ways and not so awesome ways. We are hoping to finalize AB's adoption some time in February. We've started the initial process with an attorney and hopefully it will happen then. Pretty exciting times! We are learning as we go and it's not always perfect. But we are a family now...and nothing will change that.

Being a mom to a 10 year old is quite different that being a mom to a 12 week old. First, I am stunned that BB is almost 12 weeks old. I just can not believe how quickly it goes by. I want to soak her in and just remember every moment with her. It is all I can do not to have my lips pressed to her big cheeks all day long. I love her so much that it overwhelms me. I still can't believe that she is actually mine. When I think back on all of the struggles and years of devastation, it makes me feel sick. I am one of the lucky ones...I realize that. Many of you have not been lucky....(hopefully) yet. I never thought I would be. I was talking to my husband the other night about what it would be like if I had not had BB. What if I was still in the trenches? To be honest, I don't even want to think about it. It's too dark and scary to even think about. Which of course makes me ache for what so many of you are still going through. I wish that no one had to go through infertility and miscarriage. There is much more that I want to say about this but I'll save it for another time. Let me just say that I have a new found "appreciation", if you will, for someone going through secondary infertility, especially miscarriages. My friend Kelly has had 5 miscarriages since her first child was born...I called her the other day and told her that I was sorry that I didn't realize the depth of her pain. I knew it hurt..and I knew she was devastated. But I couldn't possibly know to what degree. Now that I have BB, and know what a positive pregnancy test can actually look like at the end, I think it would be so much more painful to have another miscarriage. Don't get mad at me...remember that I've lost 5 little ones. And it kicked my ass more than anything ever has. But now that I have seen what the outcome can be, it makes me mourn a little more for the ones that didn't make it. I always wondered what they would be like...my first loss was a girl...and now I know. That is one of the main reasons that I just don't want to get pregnant again. Fear of miscarriage, plus fear of everything else. I've hit the jackpot once....isn't that usually a once in a lifetime event?

I am so grateful that this blog has been an outlet for me over the past year and a half. It has really gotten me through some of the darkest times of my life. I've connected with people all of the world and I find myself thinking of them throughout the day. I have come across blogs that break my heart (babies that have horrible medical conditions, preemies), encourage me (too many to list), and piss me off (also too many to list....who puts a 6 week old baby in a bumbo seat anyway?! They don't even have head control!)

If you haven't figured it out yet, I am full of fire and not afraid to confront any situation. I've said it 100 times before, and if you know me in real life you'll agree. I am a loud, bossy, pain in the ass, in your face, obnoxious person that says anything that comes to mind. It amazes me every day that I can get away with it and that I have lots of friends who love me in spite of that. I'm not sure why I can get away with it! You will never wonder where you stand in my world! And I appreciate the same from those around me. I do not like people who want to be miserable all of the time. I can't stand people who want to "stir the pot" and always have some drama going on. Life is too short!

There are lots of things that I love but don't do. I am a singer and am happiest when I'm surrounded by music. Before moving to Texas, I was on worship teams at a couple of different churches. I miss singing more that I can say and I hope to get involved again one day soon. I love to play the piano, although I'm not very good. I also love to be surrounded by lots of people. It energizes me! That is one thing I miss about my hometown. Don't get me wrong...I have the most amazing friends here. But it's not the huge group like I used to have. When I moved away from Alabama, I had a going away party, and 100 people came! It was so much fun and I was blown away. I miss those friends but I know that, even if I moved back, it would never be the same.

I had all of these thoughts running through my head and now they escape me. I'll post more once my brain catches up. Might be sometime next year. I might even get thank you cards sent out by then

Oh, that reminds me...I am stunned daily by the generosity of our family and friends. Not only for BB's birth, but for AB's adoption. He has received so many wonderful gifts and I can not thank them enough. And to my closest friends (K, D, G, K) who spend time with him. It means more than you know! He is gaining a sense of permanency and seeing you on a regular basis helps so much! Thank you!

Ok, one hour til I have to be up. Debating on just staying up. Might regret it in a few hours.

Look what I found....

2009-11-11T14:24:00.000-06:00

This was on the window last night. Kinda gross but let me tell you, AB LOVED it! I've never seen anything like this before. I thought only snakes shed!?

Isn't he a cutie? He earned his whittling chip for boy scouts last night. Now he gets to take his pocket knife on his camping trip this weekend. He's very responsible with it. My sister has a 9 year old son and she said she wouldnn't trust him with a pocket knife for anything! I've got a good kid here!

I do believe that this is my favorite photo of all time. She is such a happy baby! She only cries when she is hungry or sleepy.

Well, and this is pretty darn cute too!

Do you have Kid 2 Kid consignment shops in your area? I stumbled across this store and it's awesome! The clothes are perfect and very inexpensive. They also have baby gear...strollers, etc. The label on this says "Designer Dress" and it was made in Italy. Not that it matters but it was probably very expensive new. I bought it for $6.99. It is gorgeous!

Ok....no more photos. =)

On the mend...plus blogspot info at end

2009-11-06T19:35:00.005-06:00

BB is better. Her sniffles only lasted a couple of days. But now I'm sick...again. I think I'm getting a little better but it is no fun.

BB and I are flying to my in laws on 11/17 and H and AB will fly up on the 23. It will be nice to have some help but I'll miss my boys. I hope flying alone with a baby won't be too bad.

AB is going on a boyscout camping trip next weekend. He is super excited! It's 2 nights in a wilderness camp ground. Definitely not my cup of tea!

I LOVE this outfit! Look at that bow! She looks really amused, huh?

Somebody got a new toy! You should see her kick her legs. Cutest thing ever!

So, on a totally unrelated topic...sometimes putting photos in blogger makes me want to pull my hair out. It's difficult to move them and it'sjust ridiculous! Well, I did some research and found that there is an updated version that is SO MUCH EASIER! (If you know this already, sorry...if not, you will love me!) Here are the instructions. Oh, and it has buttons for undo and redo! Talk about easier!

1. Go to settings, basic.

2. Scroll down to "select post editor".

3. Choose "updated editor"***

4. Save settings.

You're welcome! =)

***(Thanks Ashley...copied and pasted and had the wrong info without realizing!!)

BB has a Cold...

2009-11-02T21:50:00.005-06:00

And it's just pitiful! She isn't horribly congested but just enough to scare me to death. Even though she's sick, she is still an angel. Oh, and I've started calling her punkin face. I guess I should come up with something sweeter than that?! Just look at that face! I can hardly stand it. I'm gushing...I know. But dang, I waited long enough and I deserve it!! =)

Here is my Zombie Skateboard Punk! He had a BLAST on Halloween.

Look at that face!

2009-10-31T17:52:00.000-05:00

Look who's holding her head up like a champ!

2 month checkup

2009-10-29T20:56:00.007-05:00

Happy Halloween!

BB had her 2 month appointment today. My teeny tiny baby is now 10 lbs and 6 ounces (her lowest weight was 5 lbs 13 oz) and she is 22 inches long (she was 19 at birth). She is getting so big! She had 3 shots today..boo hiss!! She did the whole hold her breath thing and then scream like crazy for about 10 seconds. Then whimpered for a minute or so. So Sad!! They gave her an oral vaccine and she was not having ANY of that. She puked all over the nurse. Somehow the nurse grabbed her up and flipped her over without getting any puke on BB's clothes. She moved fast!! My poor angel baby.

So, for the last 2 weeks BB has been acting like she is in agony when we give her a bottle. She writhes and arches her back and screams like we are killing her. And when she burps they are pretty wet sounding. The doctor decided to put her on prevacid so hopefully that will help her out. She has not been eating very well either. I can get 3 1/2 ounces in her if I feed her in her sleep. Otherwise we are lucky to get 1 1/2 to 2 ounces in her. I know she has to be hungry. Plus, she's wanting to eat about every 1 1/2 to 2 hours...all....day...and....night...long. My eyes are crossing I'm so tired. My husband got up with her last night at 2 am and the next thing I know it's 5:30 am! I slept for 5 hours straight! I felt like a new woman when I woke up! I got AB off to school and made muffins and emptied the dishwasher and washed bottles! Then I crashed again from 8:30 - 10:30. (Husband was home today).

Speaking of AB...he is doing great. He had to get vaccinations last week too. We both got the H1N1 nasal spray vaccine. I was on the fence about it but my pediatrician (who I trust and respect) made me feel at ease. It is hard to believe that so many people can't get the vaccine and wait in line for hours to get it. And I was able to get it from my kids pediatrician. I wonder who decides who gets it?!? Anyway, AB got 3 shots and was a trooper. They made his arm sore for a day or two but he did great. He has a clean bill of health from his earlier issues too. I did get a call from our counties health department asking all kinds of questions. The infection he had is pretty rare so they wanted to make sure he didn't get it from food, etc. We are still on the "wash your hands" kick and will be until the end of time.

We are meeting with 2 social workers tomorrow. AB's social worker from Dallas is driving in to see me and him. She called today at 4 pm and said she wanted to see me tomorrow. Seriously? Thanks for the advance notice. I should have told her I have things to do. Then we are meeting with our social worker as well. It's really no big deal and it only lasts a few minutes. But I am ready for all of this to be done! I asked my social worker today when we should start working on the adoption finalization. Seeing how CPS has taken their sweet time doing everything we should have started last month! We hope to have it all finalized by February but we'll see.

We are going to have a busy weekend. There is a fall festival at AB's school tomorrow night, then he is going with a friend to a little festival on Saturday. We have to carve a pumpkin and then trick or treating on Saturday night! I don't even have a costume for BB yet. Mother of the year I tell ya! How fun though! This the the closest thing to a costume I've got!

Here are a couple of pics of me and the girl! I am getting old! Look at those crows feet!!

Is it bad that I love the picture of her crying?

Here's BB and her daddy! She loves looking at him and smiling at him! I swear I do make my bed! I just always seem to take photos when the sheets are in the laundry.

What a weekend!

2009-10-20T09:47:00.004-05:00

I got a call from AB's teacher on Thursday that he wasn't feeling well. I was across town so I made my way to go pick him up. When I got to the school the poor little guy was sooo sick...you could just see it in his face. Of course the first thing I think of is H1N1 and start freaking out. I got him home, put him to bed and took his temperature. It was 103! Fortunately I had a garbage can ready by his bed in case he got sick...because he threw up as soon as the thermometer was out of his mouth. So, he's throwing up, BB is screaming and I'm about to have a nervous breakdown. (Did I mention that I had a cold as well?) I immediately called my husband and was all YOU HAVE TO COME HOME NOW!!

LONG story short, since we don't have a pediatrician for AB yet we took him to an urgent care clinic (his first appointment with the ped. is this Thursday). We thought that if it was H1N1 that we could catch it quickly. Sooo, they decided that it was not flu, strep, etc., but that it might be his appendix. His white blood cell count was elevated and he had lots of pain. He ended up being transferred to children's hospital for a CT scan, observation and fluids for 2 nights! It was crazy! My husband stayed at the hospital the entire time and I stayed with BB. We didn't want to cross contaminate everyone, especially since we didn't know what was wrong. We thought that it might be rota virus but it ended up being a bacterial infection, Shigella. He is doing well now but let me tell you, I was panicked! You know how everyone says when you have a new baby that you freak out about this smallest things? And that once the 2nd and 3rd ones come along that you relax a lot? Well, I'm freaking out about the small things for BB AND for AB! I have newborn worries and 10 year old worries. I had no idea how to handle his fever or what to do. It was horrible! I'm so glad it's over. Ugh... It was a horrible time and I hated that I couldn't be with him.

There is really nothing else going on. Just trying to start getting BB on some sort of schedule. She usually sleeps for 4 hours one stretch of the night. Here's what last night looked like.

9:00 pm - put BB to bed

10:30 pm - fed BB 4 ounces

12:00 am - I went to bed

2:00 am- fed BB almost 3 ounces

4:00 am - fed BB 2 ounces

5:45 am - changed BB

6:30 am - fed BB 2 ounces (also woke up in a panic because H was still sleeping and was supposed to get AB ready for school. Said goodbye to AB and H walked him to the bus)

9:00 am - fed BB 3 ounces and finally got out of bed.

Needless to say I am exhausted. She sleeps well when she sleeps, but she's just up alot. It is definitely getting easier! I can't believe my baby is almost 2 months old! Where does the time go? She is cooing and talking and smiling! I just love it!

Look what makes it all worth it!

The mobile on her little chair is her new best friend.

Look who is just about to outgrow her bassinet!

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day

2009-10-15T17:20:00.003-05:00

I hate that we have to even have a day like this. It is such a painful thing to go through. Tonight I will remember the 4 angel babies that left me way too soon.

My Beautiful Children

2009-10-13T16:44:00.002-05:00

(Halloween costume!)

We made a trip to the Capitol here in Austin...

And to the Colorado River...since AB was studying it in Social Studies

6 weeks already...

2009-10-08T20:44:00.004-05:00

(Let me start by saying, sorry for such a depressing post the other day)

So, baby news! I can't even believe that BB is 6 1/2 weeks old! She has grown so much and is just changing every day. I think she has hit that 6 weeks fussy mark. It's not bad but it happens in the afternoons/evenings. The moby wrap is really awesome to calm a fussy baby. She isn't sleeping as much during the day and is so alert! She actually slept for 4 hours in a row last night. I couldn't believe it! She is eating a little bit more and actually took 5 1/2 ounces last night! That is the most she's ever taken! I was so excited!

What else...ummm...just been busy with the kiddos and running errands and going to doctors appointments, etc. Oh and the small matter of keeping a house and cooking and cleaning, etc. I won't go into boring details. Life is good...I can say that for sure. AB is doing great. He joined boy scouts and had his first outing the other day. He looked SOOO cute in his uniform. He's been such a joy to be around. He's just a happy kid!

So, several people have asked me when I was going to have another baby. If it's up to me, never. I am so thankful for the miracle/blessing of BB, but I just don't think I could do it again. It took 4 years to have her and frankly, I'm an old fart and don't have that luxury again. And, AND you know how crazy I was when I was pregnant. No thank you. Not again. Plus a big part of me feels like it would be pushing my luck. BB is great and wonderful (that's not to say I don't spend my days worrying about her and checking her every 10 seconds to make sure she is breathing...last night I checked on her and touched her hand...and it was so cold! I actually felt a bolt of fear shoot through my chest. I knew she was ok...I could see her breathing....but I almost had a heart attack.) and I am sooooooooo thankful for her. And I have AB and I am soooooooo thankful for him. The end.

Oh!! And something funny. H has the book "What's Happening to Me". It's a book on puberty that his mom gave him when he was a kid. I had it on my night stand and this morning AB came in and was all like "Oh, a book! What's this?!" H and I have already decided that we need to have the talk sometime soon. And even the pediatrician was giving some advice on things. So, when he grabbed the book I was like hey....hang on...let's talk about this book before you start reading it. I asked him if he knew what puberty was and he looked HORRIFIED! He buried his face in the pillows on my bed and wouldn't look at me. I told him that the book was about how his body will change, etc., and that it's no big deal...everyone goes through it...and asked if he wanted to look at the book now or discuss it later. He, of course, chose later. It was just so funny! He was so embarrassed. I tried to act like it wasn't a big deal (it isn't) and told him that we would talk about it soon. Poor kid. = )

And of course, no post would be complete without photos!

Look who is starting to smile!!

Or glare....depends on the moment!

She is so dang cute!!

10 Years Old!!

2009-10-03T22:41:00.004-05:00

And Fancy the Clown (my mother) showed up!! It was a great party and AB was so excited. He's never had a party before. Poor guy. Tonight, after skateboarding and playing with remote control cars he handed us a note that said, "Thank you for the best day of my life. Here is a little something". And he put $10 in it. We thanked him and told him we were so glad that he had a great day. But we want him to keep his money! Precious boy...can you even imagine?

My mom is great! Isn't she pretty?

My mother is a wonderful artist and we had some fun with face painting! I can't even draw a stick person!

I was a swap monster (a girl...see the pink bow on my forehead?) amd AB was a Skeletoid! Not sure what bloody thing I had been eating or how a skeleton bleeds...but you get the idea! We had a great day!

Wanna know how tired I am?

2009-10-01T09:06:00.003-05:00

I was up feeding BB at 2:30 this morning. Here is what happened...in this exact order...

Heard BB crying

Reached over and got a bottle with water already in it

Added formula

Shook vigorously

Proceeded to wipe formula from the walls, my bed, etc.

Capped bottle and fed BB

There you have it folks. Sleep deprivation makes you insane!

So, Patches has found a new use for BB's boppy (Excuse the unmade bed, I was washing sheets!)

Cutests Onsie EVER!!

Just a darn cute picture!

And last but not least....her Moby face!!

Moby Heaven....

2009-09-27T21:13:00.003-05:00

So, I decided to attend a baby wearing seminar today at a local baby shop. I had seen the Beco carrier around but BB is waaay to small for that. The lady working there showed me the Moby Wrap and I was like WHAAA? It's 500 yards of fabric! How is that supposed to work?! But once she showed me how to use it I was sold! BB is secure and comfy and falls right to sleep when in it. Of course, there is no doubt when she wants out! It is truly a hands free way to carry your baby. I would highly recommend it!

We are doing well...just very tired. AB is great and is having a birthday party next weekend. Thankfully my mom and grandmother are coming on Thursday so we'll have some help...and hopefully get some sleep! It's wonderful sleep deprivation though!

I will try to update again soon. Hope you are doing well!

No time to post...I give you pictures

2009-09-20T19:32:00.005-05:00

She likes to call this her Elvis face!

You Cannot Lose My Love...

2009-09-17T22:14:00.004-05:00

This song is by Christian artist Sara Groves. I heard it for the first time many years ago and promised myself that I would sing it to my children one day. I sang it to AB tonight after tucking him into bed. After I finished I looked down at him and he had tears streaming down his face. Imagine how my heart ached and overflowed at the same time.

You will lose your baby teeth.
At times, you'll lose your faith in me.
You will lose a lot of things, But you cannot lose my love.
You may lose your appetite,
Your guiding sense of wrong and right.
You may lose your will to fight, But you cannot lose my love.
You will lose your confidence. In times of trial, your common sense.
You may lose your innocence, But you cannot lose my love.
Many things can be misplaced; Your very memories be erased.
No matter what the time or space, You cannot lose my love.
You cannot lose,
You cannot lose,
You cannot lose my love.

Oh how I love my family....words can not express. My husband has amazed me more than I can say. What a giving, compassionate husband....but especially father.

This little boy is just incredible. The love I feel for him is deeper than I ever imagined. We prayed and hoped for him for a very long time. And now he's finally ours.

And this little girl...a long time in the making...and worth every thing we went through. She is

beautiful and I love her...what more can I say?

This picture speaks a thousand words. I am overwhelmed, blessed and thankful beyond words.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-09-16T11:29:00.003-05:00

Whew!!

2009-09-15T22:27:00.002-05:00

I am so so so very tired. I don't think I have ever been this tired in my life. Don't get me wrong. I'm loving the reason that I'm so tired! This baby is just awesome! But I'm still sooooo tired.

Sorry I haven't updated in forever. We've just been so busy. It's amazing how a sleeping baby can steal all of your time! I just want to hold her all the time. I don't, but I want to.

BB had a doctors appointment again today and her weight is up to 7 lbs 1 oz. She's grown an inch too! She's now 20.5. inches. She will be 3 weeks old tomorrow. I can't even believe the time is going by so fast. She has been doing really well, but today she had milk come out of her nose again and she kinda choked on it. Fortunately I was holding her when it happened. But of course, I am so scared to put her down to sleep. She is definitely more awake now. For example, she was awake off and on from 3 am to 6 am. Every time I put her down she would just kinda whine and of course I jump every time she makes a sound. She's wonderful though. Sweet baby girl!

AB is doing well. He's been giving us a few problems with doing homework...whining and crying, etc. Normal BS that any kid would do but my lack of sleep is making me much more irritated that I would normally be. I am trying to be patient with him but I hate whining! I know he is just seeking attention..and I'm trying to hold him and love on him as much as possible. It's kinda hard with a boy this age. He doesn't always let us love on him. But when he's ready he will come to us. My husband has been doing an amazing job. He's the best dad! He's been getting up with AB at 6 am and fixing his lunch, getting him ready for school and walking him to the bus. It's awesome. I feel bad about not getting up but I can't do it all right now. Sigh... Oh, we also put AB in an after school program (his friends are there) and hopefully this will help with the homework issue. He is supposed to do it all there before he can play. It also helps me out. It's amazing how fast 3 pm rolls around!

Ok, off to get ready for bed. More later!

Little Hands...

2009-09-09T01:12:00.002-05:00

I just couldn't resist posting this photo. I was just about to give BB her bath...snuggling her before hand...and she put her little hand right on my face. It was a sweet moment for me. It made me feel like my baby girl was giving me some love! I love this girl!

We visited the doctor again today. BB is a moose! She weighed in at 6 lbs 8 oz. Finally above her birth weight. We are going to see an occupational therapist to see if she may have issues with her sucking. It sometimes takes an hour or more for her to finish 2 ounces. Then she is ready to eat again in 2 hours. It's almost like she's burning more calories sucking that she is taking in. We just want to make sure everything is ok.

My in laws came in today and I'm very excited. I haven't seen them in a year and a half and I love them. So, it's really great to hang out with them. I really need to go to bed. It's 1:20 am, BB will be ready to eat at 3 am and I have to get AB up for school at 6 am. Then I have an 11 am doctor's appointment for myself. Tomorrow is going to be a sleepy day! But I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Terrifying Moment

2009-09-07T10:44:00.002-05:00

Last night around 11:45 H went to check on BB. She was in her bassinet in our room and was fine. About 2 minutes later we heard her cry ( she actually sounds more like a kitten). I thought that she was ready for a bottle so I told H that I would get her in just a second. Thankfully, he did not listen to me and went in to check on her. She had milk coming out of her nose and mouth, her lips were blue, her face was dark red and she wasn't breathing. H screamed for me, I told him to pick her up and I ran into the bedroom. I had JUST put a suction bulb in her bassinet so I grabbed her, flipped her on her belly, suctioned out her nose and mouth and finally (in a matter of seconds that felt like years) she let out a big scream. H called 911 and they were here in about 3 minutes. Thankfully they are in my neighborhood. She tested out fine, her oxygen levels were perfect, heart rate and breathing were great. But let me tell you, it scared the life out of me. We called the pediatrician on call and asked what to do about feeding her...does she need a little break? Is the new formula still ok ? Just not sure what to do. She said to just keep feeding her (we are trying to get this girl to gain weight!) and to burp her really well and to keep her upright for at least 30 minutes after she eats. I have to call our pediatrician tomorrow to fill them in and we will probably head back to see them.

I honestly do not think I have ever been more scared in all of my life. My 14 1/2 year old dog Molly is most likely on her last leg...and I was just sobbing about that. Then this happened with BB and I was sobbing about that...it was NOT a good night.

So, as you would expect, we didn't sleep very much last night. We propped her up in her boppy and put her between us just in case. I'm not pro co sleeping so it scared me that we would roll over on her. But she was fine. She is fine.

AB is fine too. I wish I could share photos of him with you. Once his adoption is final in February I will be able to. It makes me sad that I can't share more of him with you. But he is just wonderful, and thankfully he slept through the chaos last night. We didn't tell him what happened. It would upset him too much.

So, that's that! Whew!! God please keep my children safe....

Isn't She Lovely?

2009-09-04T22:03:00.011-05:00

Isn't she lovely

Isn't she wonderful

Isn't she precious

Less than one minute old

I never thought through love we'd be

Making one as lovely as she

But isn't she lovely made from love

Isn't she pretty

Truly the angels best

Boy, I'm so happy

We have been heaven blessed

I can't believe what God has done

Through us he's given life to one

But isn't she lovely made from love

*words and lyrics by Stevie Wonder

*Who would have thought that a Stevie Wonder song could make me sob and cry like a baby. Not my baby though... she doesn't cry!

Fenugreek is the devil

2009-09-01T15:48:00.002-05:00

Why did I ever think that breastfeeding would work like a charm for me? I should know better by now. I have been pumping since Friday and am still only getting about 10 ml per session. I saw the lactation consultant yesterday and she said I should be getting at least 2 oz per session now (60 ml). So, yeah, my milk is not coming in. She suggested that I take fenugreek, blessed thistle and a Rx of Reglan (which can cause horrible side effects). Let me say...the herbs made me feel like I was having a heart attack. It literally felt like there was an elephant sitting on my chest. I was sitting in my bedroom attached to a pump talking to one of my best friends, sobbing. I was so mad that my baby was being fed by my mother, my son was hanging out alone, and I was closed up in my bedroom missing out on loving on my children. I know that may sound a little dramatic, but it has been so difficult for me to come to terms with. If you have no milk, how can you breast feed? You can't! I want the best for my baby, who doesn't? But I can no longer fight for something that is obviously not going to work. I will continue to pump and give her what I can, but I will not take any medications/herbs to force this to work.

I told myself in the beginning that if breastfeeding didn't work that I wouldn't stress over it. But I have completely stressed out over it! I can't do that to myself and especially BB. She's too precious and deserves better than that. We all do. So, formula it is. And I'm ok with that. My baby is growing and eating and that is the most important thing.

Speaking of a baby, BB is one week old today. I still can't believe that she is actually mine. I just look at her and am filled with such awe and love. Last night I was up feeding her and thinking back over our journey. She was born almost 4 years to the date of when we started trying to have a baby. The pain and heartache that we experienced will never go away, but it is definitely dulled by having a real live baby in my arms. I still think about my first pregnancy...and how she would have been 3 years old already. I think about the 3 other angels that we lost and wonder what they would have been like if only they could have stayed with me. It makes me sad to think about and I don't often let my thoughts travel down that road. But sometimes we have to think about those things. No matter how painful. I will never understand why we had to go through it all, but I'm grateful for what we've gained by going through it.

I leave you with another photo of my beautiful baby girl (and boy).

Baby Bliss....

2009-08-30T13:46:00.004-05:00

Let me start by saying that I've been thinking about all of you so much...especially those still dealing with trying to have a baby. My heart aches for you and I never want you to forget that. I pray and hope that your dreams come true.

Since I am so busy I'm going to stick to bullet points.

My C section was terrifying. I am so grateful that everything went well and that BB is healthy. Words can't describe the relief I felt the moment I heard her cry. Then to hear that she was perfectly healthy was more that I could stand...the tears flowed! She's 6 pounds, 6 ounces 19 1/2 inches longs and tiny! She actually dropped to 5 lbs 13 oz on Friday night. More details to come.

This baby is amazing. She is so beautiful and I can hardly stand to put her down. My friends and family have been wonderful and I couldn't ask for anything more. My mother has been here since Tuesday to take care of AB and the house. Once again, amazing. AB is doing great. He loves his sister and is so helpful. He seems so much bigger now seeing how BB is so small! Having her makes me love him even more. It's such a strange and wonderful thing.

H has been frantic. He is so loving with BB and it melts my heart to see him love on her and talk to her. He is doing a great job but he is so scared he will hurt her. The nurse even told him that short of dropping her, he won't hurt her. It's not like her head will pop off! I love that he loves her so much.

Breastfeeding isn't going so well. BB latched on and was doing great for about 24 hours. Then she latched and wouldn't suck. She's been such a sleepy baby that we have to fight to wake her up. The nurse checked her blood sugar and it was below normal. They immediately gave her formula and did a blood serum test. Her poor heel was stuck so many times. Her breathing was getting a little labored as well and she couldn't keep her temperature up. They finally took her to the nursery for a few hours to make sure she was ok. Long story short, she is fine but we are having to supplement with formula. I offer her the breast for about 10 minutes at each feeding, and she will suck, but not enough. I've been pumping and getting about 1/2 ounce each time I pump (since last night). It's not much but I feel better giving it to her. We will see the pediatrician tomorrow morning. BB is looking a little yellow today so we'll have to see about that. She's been taking a bottle and hopefully is getting enough to eat. She's not eating very much.

We finally made it home late yesterday. It was nice to get home! I have to force myself not to do too much. If I'm up and about too much my incision starts burning like fire! Overall, I'm doing great.

So, I can't think of too much else to write now. Brain is mush. I'll leave you with some photos and update more later. Let me know if you have specific questions! Thanks for your support and sweet comments. I really appreciate it!!

A+

2009-08-26T23:36:00.002-05:00

Hubby H again, just found out BB's blood type. She is A+ just like daddy. Yeah!

BB has arrived!!!

2009-08-26T23:24:00.002-05:00

This is hubby H providing a quick update on Mama and BB. Leah's C-Section went well and BB was born into this world feet first weighing 6 lbs 6 oz and 19 inches long. She is perfect in every way. Leah feels very relieved and is now able to relax a little.

Breech Baby!! WHAT?!

2009-08-25T14:05:00.002-05:00

You read that right. We went in for an ultrasound this morning and as soon as the wand touched my belly the tech said, 'This is a breech baby!'. What? She has been head down in the right position since at least 32 weeks! She decides now to get in the wrong position? Joy to the world! So, there goes my scheduled induction! I was sent down to my doctor's office and we decided to do a c-section at 7 am tomorrow! I had not even wrapped my brain around an induction and now we are dealing with a c-section!

BB had been moving like a maniac for about 2-3 days. She's normally not a huge mover. I never thought that she would be turning herself around! She's been pretty still for the past 2 days so I guess she's pretty well cramped in there. She is doing fine on ultrasound and we actually got to see her practicing her breathing motions. Her bottom is down and her head and feet are at the top of by belly. I guess this explains the breathing difficulties and stomach pain I've been feeling! To think...for the last few days when I thought I was poking her in the butt, I've really been poking her in the head! Poor BB!

More to come tomorrow!!! Holy Cow!!

Here we go!!!

2009-08-24T08:24:00.002-05:00

I can't even believe how last week flew by. I mean, it was Sunday, I blinked my eyes, and it was Sunday again. We've been soooo busy! I have no idea what to expect when BB makes her grand entrance into the world. All I know is that I will never sleep again! Everyone is telling me to get my sleep now, but of course when you are almost 10 months pregnant that is not such an easy task. It's all good though. I'm ready for this girl to get here. Yes I still panic most of the day and it doesn't help that her movements have slowed down over the past couple of days. Of course she is so smooshed that she doesn't have much choice! I got back for another growth scan tomorrow so we will see how big she is. Then to the hospital tomorrow night. GULP! I'll update you guys when she gets here!

AB is doing great. We met with our social worker on Friday and it was actually a nice visit. I told her how good he has been and she warned me not to be fooled by the honeymoon phase. I totally get that he's on his best behavior now. I've even seen a few protests from him. Nothing big but just enough for me to be able to put my foot down and let him know that I'm not afraid of being the mom. It's actually good thing that this is happening.

This whole process has been so.....interesting/strange/awesome. I've mentioned before that there has not been some magical moment of falling in love as a family. It's not a bad thing and I'm not complaining about it. I just want to let people know the reality of it. I'm guessing that it's very different with a little baby for obvious reasons. The decision we made to adopt was not based on emotions at all. It was based solely on commitment to a child and our commitment to each other as a couple wanting to be a family. I mentioned this to our social worker and she was all, "Can you come tell our prospective families that?". She said that so many people expect the bonding to happen immediately and for everything to be just perfect from the moment they meet their child. That's not reality! Having AB has been awesome! He's a great kid and as cute as can be. We are bonding and he is letting his guard down more every day. He's been giving us big wet kisses on the cheek and it's just precious! He's letting us love on him more too. But he's scared to death! Can you imagine going through everything that he's been through? I imagine that it will take about a year (or at least until his adoption is finalized in 6 months) for us to all find our groove. And that's ok! Our family dynamic is about to change in a huge way with BB coming. None of quite know what to expect but we will figure it out...just like any family does. I already love this little guy and I'm very glad that he is mine!

School starts tomorrow so we have lots to accomplish today. We see the counselor again today and then meet the teachers tonight. I'm navigating new territory, that's for sure! It's been fun!

I'll post as I can over the next few days. Please send prayers our way for a healthy baby and easy delivery!

38 Weeks

2009-08-19T10:55:00.002-05:00

All is well. I had an ultrasound yesterday and fluid looks good, baby is showing breathing movements, and I was told she is a happy baby. Great news to hear! I went to the OB today for my last weekly visit. I can't even believe it. I have made no progress in 2 weeks...still around 1 cm and baby is still pretty high up. My NP encouraged me to walk a lot this week. Considering I'm on my couch as much as possible that should be a challenge! The more I'm up the more tight and uncomfortable the belly gets. It's the strangest thing. It doesn't hurt really, it's just as tight as a drum. The only other time I'm uncomfortable is when I'm in bed trying to roll over. It's quite the production! I guess my pelvis is shifting because it's really sore....but only when I'm lying down. Pregnancy is weird, huh? Wonderfully weird!

AB is doing great. He is just the sweetest boy! Very thoughtful and helpful. He won't let me pick up anything and even wants to carry my purse for me. I told him that I hope he is always this sweet to me and to those around me. He promised he would be and we shook on it! He just needs encouragement. The other night I asked him to do something...maybe put laundry away or something little, and he said, "I just need you to encourage me to do it!". I said, "OK, it won't take long and it will be easy.....yadda yadda yadda." It was just sweet. We saw the counselor on Monday and it was nice to know that we have someone to help us navigate the waters. I've really bonded with AB and he has been very loving and precious. H is trying to spend as much one on one time with him as he can too. Of course, he works so much that it's hard. I think they are going to do something this weekend..maybe go to Sea World or something...before the baby comes. It's been a precious journey so far and I can't wait to see what the future holds!

I'll keep you posted as things progress. My life getting crazier by the moment but I couldn't be happier! I'm finally a mom!

Feeding Ducks with Dad

2009-08-17T08:56:00.002-05:00

My son...what a blessing

2009-08-13T16:50:00.003-05:00

I was sitting on the couch talking with AB about dogs. He started talking about a dog that his aunt had and I asked him to tell me about it. He started talking about his mom's sister and how she had this little dog. Then he started talking about his mom. I asked him if he remembered her (it's been almost 5 years since he's seen her) and he said yes. Then I asked him if she was tall and he said no, that she looks a lot like me (average height and chunky from what I've read about her). He then started talking about his brothers. He has one that died and one that was adopted at birth. Both were born before him. I told him that I know it's been a crazy world for him and that hopefully things will start to calm down now. He sat silently for a moment and looked at me with huge tears in his eyes. He said, "Man, talking about my brothers makes me all....". I said, "Sad?" He said yes and just had huge tears rolling down his cheeks. He was sitting on the love seat and I was on the couch. I asked him to come sit with me and he said he was ok. I asked again, urged actually, and he fell into my arms and let me just hold him like a baby. Tears were rolling down his sweet little face and he looked so very sad. It was all I could to hold it together. I asked him if he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to stay with us. He said yes. I told him that no matter what happens that we are stuck with each other and that we are all a family now. I told him that I know he has been through a lot and that it's ok to feel sad and to even cry. But to know that we love him and are so happy to have him. I told him that he can always come to us to talk about anything..his mom, his brothers, whatever he wants...and that one day when he is an adult, if he wants to find his birth family, that we would do just that. I told him that we feel so lucky and blessed to have him and that we will get through this together, and we will find our way as a family. He just nodded his little head and listened to what I was saying. He stayed with me for a few more seconds and then ran next door to play with his new BFF. The moment he left I completely lost it. How my heart aches for this little boy! I want to make everything right in his world and there is no way for me to do it. It will take time for him to trust again...and I/we intend on doing everything in my/our power to make him feel safe and secure.

Now, I don't know about you, but when I think of all that this little boy has been through it breaks my heart. He's been bounced around for 5 years! No matter what happens, children will always want and miss their birth mothers. That longing will most likely be there for his entire life. I completely understand that. And it hurts to know that there is nothing I can do for him in this area. What I can do is love him and be there for him for the long haul. I have lots to learn and I'm sure I will fail miserably at times. I trust God to take care of my children and to lead me in the right direction, especially for them.

As painful as that moment with AB was, it was also a beautiful one. My heart melted and I thank God for allowing us to bond in that way. I want to protect this little guy and make sure he has the best life that he can have. He is really so very sweet. I bought him a transformers toy and some hot wheels today...as a surprise. He was so thankful and just kept telling me over and over how excited he was. He's excited over the little things. What a wonderful little boy. I am truly blessed.

4D pics of BB

2009-08-11T12:36:00.004-05:00

What an amazing ultrasound I had today! They were not busy and my favorite girl took tons of time scanning in 4D. She even gave us a DVD on the 4D part. Just because she was being nice! Awww!!
BB's foot is permanently on top of her head or in front of her face. Can you imagine being that flexible? Her umbilical cord was in front of her chin. She's got my baby nose! It used to have a pug nose like hers, but now it's long and pointy. = ) Hopefully she will keep a cute nose!! And look at those lips!

T minus 16 days

2009-08-10T09:36:00.003-05:00

We are officially having this baby on August 26 (unless she comes before then!). My doctor agreed to the induction and I am to check into the hospital at 6 am on Aug. 26. She also ordered weekly ultrasounds until then. Nothing is wrong, but she knows how absolutely terrified I've been, and wants me to relax a bit. It was shocked that she wanted to do them, but I'm ok with that! So, between now and then? Twice weekly doctor appointments, breastfeeding class, going to see Wicked with my husband (so excited!), getting my hair done, AB starts school (which involves registering him, buying clothes and school supplies). You get the point! I'm excited and nervous and am praying non stop every day that BB is ok and that she is born strong and healthy. My nerves have just been shot to heck for so long that I am at a point of just not feeling like I can take it anymore. It's ridiculous, I know! I had another melt down last night. Just sobbing and sobbing. I guess part of that could be hormones, but most of it is fear. Only 16 more days, only 16 more days.

This past weekend was just jam packed! We had a good time getting to know AB and he seems to be pretty happy. He and my neighbors little boy met on Saturday and have been joined at the hip ever since! They are the same age and about the same size and same temperament. I'm so glad that he has a little friend! And they live right next door! Awesome! This has been a very interesting journey. I really didn't know what to expect with AB coming and really had no clue what we were going to do when he got here. We just knew that he was supposed to be with us and that we would figure it all out. That seems to be exactly what we are doing. We are all just learning the ropes and trying to figure out our places in each other's lives. We will have lots of time to bond and figure it all out. One day at a time is my motto right now! We haven't had a magical bonding moment where all is right in the universe. It's little moments of his snuggling up under my arm on the couch, or him holding H's hand. There is this little person that we don't know wandering around and sometimes it takes me completely off guard! It's such a strange thing! I can only imagine how AB feels. He's got 2 adults that are his parents, he doesn't know us at all! He's got 3 big dogs that he is trying to not be afraid of, a completely new world for him! New house, new bedroom, new clothes, new school, new rules. When I look at it from his point of view I just simply can't imagine! He's a resilient little guy, that's for sure.

We have lots to do this week so I better get busy!

He's here and he's all boy!

2009-08-07T21:07:00.002-05:00

I only have time for a quick update. AB is here and has settled in nicely. We have a ton of things to do, like laundry and sorting through his things, registering for school, buying supplies, etc. He's only been here 4 hours and has already caught a lizard and put it in his little lizard habitat we bought him for our first meeting. Why oh why did I buy that? Poor lizard...hopefully he will let it go. He's outside right now with H looking for crickets to feed it. Like I said before, I don't stand a chance!!

He's a cutie and I think he's going to do just fine! He said he's really happy to be here and he loves his room! He asked to see his room the minute he walked into the house! He's a bit overwhelmed by all of the dog love but everyone will adjust.

So, as I am finishing up this post, AB walks in and drops something on the desk. He's all, "What's this"? It was the tiny tail of a tiny gecko. BARF! He let the lizard go but it lost it's tail in the process...what in the world?!? I'm in for quite a wild ride!! =)

36 week update

2009-08-05T11:46:00.002-05:00

We had another ultrasound today and BB looks great. She weighs 6 pounds and is still in position. The tech said that her legs were long. If you know me or my husband, this is a miracle! We both have short stubby legs and have always said that our baby will probably just be a body with feet!! =) I was glad to see her again but of course, she had her feet and hands in front of her face. We did get to see a foot and watch her stretch her toes. It was really cute.

I had a doctors appointment after the ultrasound as well. I saw a nurse practitioner that I haven't seen before. She was awesome and so sweet. They always ask about AB (notes about adoption in my chart) and when I told her the story she had tears in her eyes. She was precious and so excited for us. The room was really hot and I felt a little weird. My blood pressure was up a little so they decided to put me on the blood pressure monitor for a few minutes. Once I cooled off it came back down to normal. I just have to check it at home every day to make sure it's still ok. I actually lost 2 pounds this time (yippee!!) so I'm at a total gain of 14 lbs. We'll see what the next few weeks hold. Still no swelling but again, things can change quickly! She did a cervix check and I'm already 1 cm dilated and 60% effaced! What? So, little BB could come at any time! I also talked to her about my anxiety and she mentioned that with the progress I am making, if BB doesn't come earlier, that we could possibly schedule an induction at 39 weeks. (No judgements, please! I've been through too much!) I still have to talk to the doctor and I need to talk to my husband before decisions are made. I just do not want to go past the due date...chances of still birth increase drastically when that happens. I'm not one of these want a natural childbirth, no pain relief, sit on a bouncy ball, let's just wait and see what happens kind of people. I can appreciate everyones perfect idea of giving birth. My perfect idea is getting BB out safely, with as little pain as possible. That's it.

AB is so excited about coming. I talked to him yesterday and let him know. His foster mom called me to tell me some more things about him. She rules her roost and has firm rules for her kids. I can appreciate that. She said that she doesn't allow sneakers in the mud. Not sure why she wanted to tell me that! I assured her that no mud exists in Austin. Your shoes will get dusty, but not muddy! We haven't had rain in 2 years! She also told me that she doesn't allow him to take food or drink out of the kitchen. She doesn't want messes in her house! =) She's a hoot!