2 WW and Adoption Update

Hello everyone! How ya doin? We had some major computer problems this weekend so I'm sorry I haven't updated in a few days. We actually got a new computer out of the deal. And it's FAST!! I'm loving it!

I had a fun weekend. My friend Keri and I had a girls day all day Saturday! A girls day plus her baby! He was the best baby all day long. He didn't make a sound other than to laugh! My dogs were rough housing and he just cackled laughing. The sweetest sound ever. We both talked about how we felt so carefree! It was great.

We had our first home walk through this morning with our social worker. She wanted to make sure that we didn't have any guns or knives lying around, etc. I was talking to her about my struggles and she told me that she understood..she's been there too. She is pregnant for the 3rd time with no baby. She was actually going to her first ultra sound appointment today. This is the farthest she has ever progressed so she is nervous. Unfortunately, I completely understand.

I've been thinking alot about adoption and what it would be like to be a parent. The thought of bringing a child into your life and home is a bit daunting! I'm sure it feels the same way when you give birth. It's just that these kids we are looking to adopt have been through so much already. They have been abused and/or neglected and have such trust issues. Heck! Who wouldn't? I don't worry that I wouldn't love the child enough, I worry more about being the kind of parent that she will need. And that Heath and I won't be able to get it together to give her what she needs. Ugh... We have alot to discuss before our home study is done. And what if I get pregnant? Will it progress and equal a baby? If it does, what happens to our adoption plans? If it doesn't what happens to our adoption plans? If I'm not pregnant, what's our next step? Do we pursue more treatments? What kind? More injectibles? IVF, again? If we do another IVF cycle, that will wipe out our insurance benefits. I'm not complaining! (See last post). We have no options without insurance. Do I use the rest of our benefits on injectible/IUI's? What would you do?

I just wish I had a stopping point in sight. I need a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm getting too old for this!

I am 10 days into my 2 WW. I have had a few "symptoms"...but you know as well as I do that it could mean something..or it could mean nothing. I've been nauseous a few times and my nipples have been doing weird tingly things. TMI? Ha! It's only going to get worse! I'm also taking/inserting those bastardly progesterone vaginal suppositories. ( I don't want to say that I'm taking them, because, well, hello!!) It's better than those bastardly shots in the butt! More like goop and itchiness in the butt crack! You know what I'm talking about!! If I get pregnant I will have to take them for weeks and weeks. I have progesterone issues. Big surprise! My list of reproductive issues is growing by leaps and bounds!! My girly bits are definitely NOT earning their keep! I have decided not to test early. Kelly can't believe that I can actually wait that long to test! I just don't want to waste the money and I don't want to go through that emotional BS that comes with testing. I have one digital test that was free with my OPK's a few months ago. So, I'm waiting to use that. I test Friday. Wish me luck!