Progesterone

I had more bloodwork today. My progesterone was 44 on Monday so we lowered my dosage to 1 400 mg. supp a day. I checked again today and it was at 42!! I'm so pumped! Now I lower my dosage to 1 200 mg supp a day and check again in a week. I am so excited to be at this point. I really feel like the placenta is finally starting to kick in and do it's job. I can't wait to stop feeling all goopy and gross all the time.

Not too much else going on except studying. I know I keep talking about it and you may be wondering why I'm studying. I decided to go back to school to be a nurse. I'm working on my pre reqs now and will apply to the nursing program in January 2010. If accepted, I'll begin the program in August 2010. Seems like forever away but the timing is actually really great! The baby is due in September and I'll have a full year before nursing school starts. I just hope I can make good grades and get into the program.

Finally, here a a few pictures from the weekend. We went to the Rodeo but made a quick stop at the River Walk in San Antonio (yet again) for lunch. It was a beautiful day.

Isn't he cute?

My BFF's: Keri and Kellye

My BFF's again! Kellye, Keri and Dean

13 weeks

Woo Hoo!! I can't believe I've gotten this far. Everything is going great! I had a heartbeat check today...165 beats per minute. My nerves are calming a good bit. I think getting past this week will make a huge difference in how I feel. It's weird when we have losses...that if we can just get past the point of a previous loss, we feel better. I've been looking forward to getting past this week! I'm very grateful that everything is going well. I haven't had any spotting in 2 weeks either. I am still nauseous but it's not quite as bad as it was. My progesterone was up to 44 yesterday. I get to go to 1 progesterone suppository a day and check my blood again on Monday (although I'll probably check on Friday). Thanks for your prayers and support! More later!

Fun Weekend

I have been sooo busy this week! My mother, grandmother, and 2nd grandmother (my grandmother's best friend) all came to visit this weekend. They got in LATE Friday night after driving all day. It's so nice to have them here. He went to San Antonio for the Rodeo yesterday. I hated to leave my family but we'd had this little trip planned since Christmas. We went to the River Walk and had lunch and went to the Rodeo last night. It was a blast! We got home really late and everyone was sleeping.

This morning I woke up to the sound of something sizzling on my stove. It made me feel all happy! My grandmother (keep in mind she is southern...deep south southern) was frying potatoes, for breakfast. And let me tell you, they were GOOD! I only had a couple and opted for cereal instead. But dang! YUMMY!

Remember I told you that my mom had a hysterectomy? Well, her incision hasn't healed up and she told me that she had an "area" that wasn't closing. Well, I thought it was a small area, you know, like an inch. Needless to say, when I saw it I almost hit the floor! If I would have known how bad this was I would have never let her take the trip down here! It's about 4 inches long and 3 inches deep and 2 inches wide. I don't know how she can even breathe. She's a trooper! I'm trying to spoil her and just let her rest. She said she's enjoyed sleeping since she's been here. Poor mama!

I'll post pictures soon. Gotta go hang with the fam!!

12 Week NT Scan

Everything looks great. I am so relieved. I think this will be my last ultrasound for a while. It's time for me to buck up and take it like a man! =) (Although we all know men could NEVER handle this!). I had a few dark pink spots on the TP last night but I held it together and didn't freak out. Nothing since. I'm just so glad that I've had such good care from my doctors. I would be in the nut house otherwise.

Anyway, the baby was flipping and moving. It was soo cute. I swear there is an alien in there instead of a baby. I've scanned a picture of it's face but you can't really see it too well on the scan. I just have to share though. Here is my beautiful little alien!

That's my baby! Holy Cow! And notice the ticker...12 weeks. I can't even believe that I've made it this far. Thank you God! So, back to the scan. The tech couldn't get a good measurement of that little spot on the back of the head that they look for. BB (I've decided to call the baby this for now. My last name starts with a B so this is Baby B! Better than Bodette...) kept flipping over and she couldn't get a good measurement. We saw arms and legs and backbone. It's so amazing that BB is so little and we can see so much detail. The perinatologist (awesome guy! so sweet!) came in and was able to get a good measurement. He said that the line of fluid is very thin and that's what we want to see. It measured 1.1 and he said that's a great number. Of course, this doesn't completely rule out Down's Syndrome, but it's a good start. Apparently Down's babies have a thicker line of fluid..etc. Of course, I would love my baby no matter what. I have to go for yet another blood draw this afternoon after I see my OB. The peri said that everything looks great and he doesn't need to see my until 20 weeks unless my OB says so. The clot is gone and we are measuring right on track. Heartbeat was 163. Whew!!

After the peri talked to me I just burst into tears. It was like all of the stress of this first trimester just came out all at once. They were so sweet to me. The tech said that she's glad to see tears of joy because they've had a really bad week there. She was really happy for us and just hugged me before we left!! Such nice people.

I am going to talk to my OB today and try to get a game plan for the next 2 months. Of course, I will see her at 16 and 20 weeks. That's really not that far away! I think I will ask for weekly heartbeat checks at least through 16 weeks. I'll see how I feel at that point. I think I will be less fearful as time ticks on. Only 6 months to go. Seems like an eternity and a blink of the eye all at the same time.

I couldn't be more thankful for your support and love through all of this. I've had the best care that anyone could ever have and I know how fortunate I am. I've made the best friends of my life through this process and I am so grateful for you.

Busy!!

This whole homework/studying thing is for the birds! Why can't I just get my degree by simply wanting it? I know....anything worth having is worth the work. Right? I took my math test this morning and feel pretty good about it. My microbiology test is tomorrow. This is the one where I'm supposed to know everything about everything. The teacher didn't even cover 2 of the 6 chapters we are supposed to know. He said that we should just know it on our own. Then why are we paying tuition for you to teach us? Don't even get me started on this guy. Quite possibly the worst teacher I've ever had.

Not too much else going on. We had a quiet weekend full of studying. My husband is working on his MBA so he has tons of homework to do. We aren't big Valentine's day folks so we basically got each other a card and I made dinner. The dinner was ok but the chocolate molten lava cakes were fabulous! And so easy to make. YUMMY!!

My nerves are calming down a good bit. The closer I get to the 2nd trimester the better I feel. Plus the weekly ultrasounds have been a plus. I know how blessed I am...don't think I don't! My 12 Week NT scan is on Wednesday morning and I see my doctor again Wednesday afternoon. I hope to get a plan in place regarding ultrasound, heartbeat checks, etc. I think if I can go in once a week to check the heartbeat that I'll be ok. I'm not going to beg for ultrasounds. Once I feel the baby move, the doppler won't be necessary! I'm sure my OB will regret offering to do this for me soon! =) Still having progesterone issues. Not sure if I told you this, but my p4 was 40 on Monday. RE said to lower my dosage of suppositories to once a day. Then I spotted on Wednesday and we checked P4 again. It was down to 20. YIKES!! RE said to just stay on the same once a day dosage but I was like, I don't think so! I went back to twice a day. I went back for more labs today so we'll see where we are. See the trend with the blood draws? My arms are really bruised. I've averaged 2 draws a week (mostly more) since the day I found out I was pregnant. I have literally lost count at this point. Hopefully I won't have to do it much longer. It's not so bad...it doesn't even really hurt.

I know I haven't updated about our adoption situation in a while. There really isn't too much to say. We have submitted a home study on 4 different children. From what our social worker has told us, once 100 families are interested they close down the posting. Well, at least 2 of the 4 have at least 100 families interested. It really makes me wonder if we'll ever get a chance to adopt. I think about these kids all of the time and see their picture in my mind over and over. I imagine what they would be like and hope they know that there people are out there who want to love them and be their parents. It's a sad thing. And we have to just wait and wait and wait. God willing, we will get a placement soon. And yes, we are moving ahead with this even though I am pregnant. I know it will be hard, blah blah blah, but I'm ready for a house full of children. My house has been silent for too long.

Hope you are all doing well. I'll update you after my scan on Wednesday.

Still in the game

When am I going to stop worrying? Probably never. Thank you God that we heard the heartbeat on doppler this morning. I went back to the room at about 11:15. The Medical Assistant said to another Med. Asst., "Can you get heart tones on her?" And I said, "Yes, can you?" She said she would be a few minutes so the MA working with me said she would try. She said she's not that good and that if she didn't find it not to panic. Well, she didn't. Then the other MA came in and found it in just a few minutes. Bodette's heart rate was 173. Mine was about 273. I'm so glad she could find it. I literally started crying and thanking her. LONG story short, everything is fine. Dr. understands my concern and told me to come in for a heartbeat check at any time. She told me not to get a home doppler because it would drive me nuts. She said she would be glad to do it at any time. Awww...guess that's what I get, being psycho and all. They wanted to to an ultrasound but couldn't get me in until 4 p.m. So, I went to class and then went back. Hubs got to go this time. The scan was great. Bodette was moving like crazy! Waving arms and kicking legs. It was just the most amazing thing to see. One of her profile pics looks like Homer Simpson. Maybe I'll post that one. =) The tech and the doctor both said everything looked great, baby is measuring right on track, clot is shrinking, and don't go crazy if you do happen to see some pink or red spotting. It doesn't mean the end is near. I know, I know, I know these things!
Anyway, my doctor wants to see me next week just to check on me and make sure my nerves are ok. She is really precious!

In dog news, Lucy had to go back to the vet for the day. Her medicines were upsetting her stomach in a bad way. They gave her fluids and stomach meds. I have to pick her up at 7 pm. I feel so sorry for her. Needless to say, today has been hectic! More later. Thanks for your prayers and good vibes coming my way. Almost out of the 1st trimester. NT scan next Wednesday.

More Spotting

And I am absolutely terrified. It wasn't bright red, it was pink. But it's been dark brown for weeks now. I know that everything might be ok but I also know that it might not. I have an OB appointment tomorrow at 11 already scheduled. Thank you God! I just hope that the outcome is good. Please say prayers and keep your fingers crossed. Oh, and Lucy, my Rottweiler, is not feeling well today. She is just listless and not eating. She drank some water and then I tried to give her the antibiotic pills and she threw up everywhere. I need to call the vet for her tomorrow. Poor dog...
This absolutely sucks. Why can't I just be normal for a change?

Crazy Octuplet Mom (COM)

Ok, I was going to try not to blog about this, since everyone else in the world is....
Just curious...did you happen to watch Dr. Phil today? If you are anything like any other infertile that has been through the wringer with fertility treatments, you were probably bothered by the fact that everyone keeps talking about how the embryo's were implanted in this woman. We all scream, you idiots! They are transferred, not implanted!! Back to Dr. Phil...he said that the RE that COM used actually developed a procedure where he implanted the embryos into the uterine wall. So, wait a minute. He did implant them? Hmmmm....why hasn't anyone thought of this before? Have you ever heard of such a thing? If it is true, and it does work, why hasn't every RE in the universe been using this technique? Imagine what the success rates of IVF would be?

I'm so busy studying. I feel like it's all in vain but I'm trying! I really want to make good grades but sheesh! This is nutso! I have another OB appointment tomorrow, this time with the Dr. not the nurse. I"ll let you know how it goes. Back to studying and I have class tonight. Fun times.

Nervousness...

Today has been a very emotional, nerve wracking day for me. It started this afternoon when this huge wave of fear just completely overtook me. I prayed, I breathed, I visualized a live baby at the end of this. I just couldn't shake it. It was almost like a panic attack was coming. Heart racing...all that crap. I've felt some activity in my lower abdomen. Nothing constant and nothing painful. Just twinges and such. I guess it's just my uterus doing it's thing. It is adding to my panic.

I had my blood drawn this morning (only 3 sticks today) to check for progesterone. I was just imagining Keri calling and telling me that it had dropped to a horrible level. Fortunately, she called and it was at 40! This made me feel quite a bit better and I'm slowly coming out of this funk. Now I only have to take 1 progesterone suppository a day. It was 22 last week so this is a good sign that the placenta is taking over.

How am I possibly going to make it through this with any sanity left? I KNOW there is no reason for this to end badly. I KNOW everything has been great so far. I know, I know, I know! But it's just not enough. I wish I could just walk around with an ultrasound machine and check whenever I felt panic. Who can blame Tom Cruise for buying one when Katie was pregnant? If I only had the money.. =) Think he would let me borrow his?

Please keep sending good vibes my way. For the baby....but also for me. I really need to chill out and remain calm. It's just really hard. We've been through so much already that I just don't know how I could handle something bad again. Please God, let this be ok...

Dogs are expensive...

So, yesterday my sweet Lucy (Rottweiler) got a huge thorn stuck in her paw. Hubs was walking her and he pulled it out. He thought everything was fine. Patches and Lucy had been swimming and playing off leash and acted like everything was ok. Not much later, Lucy started limping and then her foot swelled up to about twice it's size. She wouldn't put any weight on it (although this didn't prevent her from jumping on the bed and putting her head on my pillow!). This morning it was even worse so I found a vet opened on Sunday and took her. When the vet looked at her paw she could tell it was infected. She squeezed the paw and loads of gunk came out. EWWW! It's amazing how fast the infection set in. So, they had to lance it and clean it which involved putting her to sleep. And she has to take loads of antibiotics. Needless to say, it was over $500. So much for the cruise we'd like to take this year! She'll be fine but I feel really sorry for her! Oh, and I'll soon be setting up the Save Lucy foundation. Any donations will be greatly appreciated!!

I have 2 exams this week so I probably won't be blogging too much. Still pregnant (as far as I know), still nauseous, same stuff different day. I have an OB appt on Thursday. Still have moments of sheer terror but it's getting better.

P.S. Is the little floating baby creepy to you? A big part of me thinks it's creepy. Should I change it?

Update: The baby was too creepy. It's getting bigger and looks like a freaky alien. Hearts and babies are better. =)

9 weeks 6 days

Everything is still going ok. I can't even believe it. Met with my OB's nurse today...seemed like a waste of time. When I made the appointment last week she said she was going to send my for a scan right after my appointment. Did she make the appointment? No! She asked me if I could come back tomorrow but after seeing me almost freak out she said she would make it happen. She also had me to a 1 hour glucose tolerance test. My mother has adult onset diabetes and they want to check me early. I drank the sweetest, oh my gosh my teeth are going to fall out, drink I've ever had. In about 10 minutes I felt like I'd been drinking. I literally had a buzz. So, had my blood drawn (2nd time since Monday!) and went upstairs to ultrasound. The tech was just awesome and the first thing she did was check for the heart beat. I thanked her for not making me wait. Ichabodette (or should I just call her Bodette?) is doing great! She was wiggling and moving. It was amazing. The heart rate was 180 bpm and measurements were all great. They did an abdominal ultrasound but I wished they would have done a vaginal one. She never quite got the picture she was looking for but didn't want to do the vag cam because of the clot. I'm like HELLO! I've had 5 with the clot! I digress.... I'm sure the not so great pics were from my not so flat belly. Speaking of the clot, it continues to shrink. Still there but smaller.

I decided to do the 1st trimester screening. I mainly want it so I won't have to wait until 20 weeks to do another ultrasound. That seems SOOOO far away. Heck, 12 weeks seems soooo far away. Hopefully by then Bodette will have grown enough to be seen well!

I'm still having to use the progesterone supps. My levels vary between 20 and 29 every week. Until they stay above 30, on their own, I'll have to use them. I hear that the placenta is supposed to kick in at about 12 weeks so hopefully the numbers will start to rise. It will be nice not to feel so squishy all the time!

This is all so weird to me. I mean, me, pregnant, and so far so good. Who knew? I felt a sense of relief for about 10 seconds after the scan but then the freak out tried to creep back in. I'm fighting it!! I see my OB next Thursday. I wonder if I can get a scan out of her? Hmmmm....
When can I hear the heartbeat with a doppler? Keep in mind my not so flat stomach.

I hope that I keep having nothing too exciting to report. That would be fabulous!!

Oh, and my mom is doing great! Thanks for your good vibes!

Feeling Much Better thankyouverymuch!

Whew! I can finally almost breathe out of both nostrils. I really thought I was going to DIE on Thursday. My classmates kept looking at me and avoiding me at all costs. I apologized and promised them I was using the anti-viral kleenex. You know, the ones that kill 99.9999999% of germs? Yes, I took a box of tissues with me. But, thank you God!! I'm better!

Still exhausted. Not eating nearly as much as I was. I tell you, those first few weeks I was an emotional eater. Big time. I normally don't do that but by holy cow!! I think the eating frenzy has slacked off...especially since I have no appetite from being sick. I had chicken fajitas for lunch yesterday and homemade blueberry muffins for dinner. That's it. And veggies? Still can't do it. I'm feeling pretty nauseous again, thankfully. Weird how that makes us feel better in a strange way.
So, do you have a Waffle House where you live? I think it must be a southern thing. But, they have the BEST hash browns in the world. I had a patty melt and hash browns for lunch. Healthy, huh? And it was GOOOOD!! Again, haven't eaten anything since. I'm such a weirdo.

Class is still going pretty well. I really like my math class, which is completely out of character for me. It just makes me think in a different way and I really like it. It's like working a puzzle. I know, all math is that way, but this is actually clicking for me. I'm very glad! The microbiology class is hard right now. It's all about chemistry and I haven't taken chemistry since high school (5,000 years ago!) and I'm pretty sure I didn't do too well in it. If I can get past these 2 chapters on Chemistry, and not kill my teacher, this class might actually be ok. UGH!!!

My mom is going in for surgery tomorrow. She also has jacked up lady parts and is finally having them taken out. She had issues getting pregnant and has always had fibroids, etc. Her doctor finally told her that she thinks it's best for her to get everything out of there. They will cut her where her old C-section scars are (I'm sure I'll inherit this trait from her too..my RE told me I'll likely have to have a section because of my small pelvis. I wish someone would tell that to my hips!!) and it's a vertical incision. That's right folks..up and down. My poor mom. I hate that I can't be there for her. I'm sure she will be alright but it just sucks for her.

Still pregnant, as far as I know! The "bleeding" can't make up it's mind. Yesterday I had really dark brown spotting all day and today I've had none. It's good because that means it's shrinking. I'm ready for it to be gone, that's for sure. First OB visit on Tuesday and with additional ultrasound. Same story, different day. I'll update you asap.