Today has been a very emotional, nerve wracking day for me. It started this afternoon when this huge wave of fear just completely overtook me. I prayed, I breathed, I visualized a live baby at the end of this. I just couldn't shake it. It was almost like a panic attack was coming. Heart racing...all that crap. I've felt some activity in my lower abdomen. Nothing constant and nothing painful. Just twinges and such. I guess it's just my uterus doing it's thing. It is adding to my panic.
I had my blood drawn this morning (only 3 sticks today) to check for progesterone. I was just imagining Keri calling and telling me that it had dropped to a horrible level. Fortunately, she called and it was at 40! This made me feel quite a bit better and I'm slowly coming out of this funk. Now I only have to take 1 progesterone suppository a day. It was 22 last week so this is a good sign that the placenta is taking over.
How am I possibly going to make it through this with any sanity left? I KNOW there is no reason for this to end badly. I KNOW everything has been great so far. I know, I know, I know! But it's just not enough. I wish I could just walk around with an ultrasound machine and check whenever I felt panic. Who can blame Tom Cruise for buying one when Katie was pregnant? If I only had the money.. =) Think he would let me borrow his?
Please keep sending good vibes my way. For the baby....but also for me. I really need to chill out and remain calm. It's just really hard. We've been through so much already that I just don't know how I could handle something bad again. Please God, let this be ok...
The Birth of a Mother
3 years ago
3 comments:
Hang in there sweetie! I freaked out when I felt the babies move the first few times. Sending you lots of positive thoughts and prayers.
It's worth a shot to ask your doctor about helping you get a doppler to use at home while you're pregnant. I have a friend that has one and it was amazing to be able to listen to the heartbeat whenever I wanted. (Well, whenever I was at her home, but still...) I believe that some insurance companies will cover at least partial rental of one.
I'm sooo with you - counting down the days to next week for my 12-week scan.
Only 8 days to go!
Hi honey,
Thank you so much for stopping by my blog. If you don;t mind, I added you to my list so I can follow your journey. I LOVE the dog whisperer. If you remember, the one dog he had a hard time training was the boxer! LOL Of course! I really think if I work with her every day, that would help. I would love to walk her but she barks at everything. I wonder how I can stop that?? We have a dog park about a minute from the house. I will be taking her there a lot this spring. She needs excersise. I didn;t know they needed so much. Thank you so much for your response and I am so excited for your pregnancy. Good luck honey!
Kami
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